I am debating posting this, as I'm not sure how people will feel. Do you let the entire world know that you're a failure at being a mom, is this one of those times "it's happened to everyone. It'll be ok," or is it something every mom must go through, as her own type of milestone or right-of-passage? After reading what happened, when you see me you'll probably want to slap me. Milestone? Right-of-passage? Sure, and throw me into jail and lose the keys while you're at it.
There are some mistakes, accidents, incidents that can be accepted as human error. This, perhaps and in my opinion, is not one that can be. I have always been a firm believer in if you can't pay attention to what your child is doing than maybe you don't deserve to be a parent.
My father was a neat freak; Mr. Clean if you will. 30 years as a Marine and two of those as a Drill Instructor will do that to you. So why do I find it so hard to channel him, especially when it comes to the safety of my own son, my one and only child at this point?
Not too far apart, my brother and I had swallowed something, but I believe we both managed to spit it up. We were older toddlers at the time, I believe, as we were in Okinawa when it happened. One of us had an incident with a key ring and the other a quarter. So am I doomed to make the mistakes of my parents? Their examples are what we all learn from, everyones own parents respectively.
I hate to even say what I was doing, but maybe someone will learn from my mistake, and I'm sure others have done the same but I don't know of any.
I was playing on my phone, as usual. I am in the same room with my son, calling him, seeing what he is doing as he makes his way around the high chair, out of eyesight. For the past hour or two, I'm constantly taking paper out of his mouth. I just cleaned, but he found some paper somewhere.
This should have been my first clue to put down my phone and just take him to bed. It was already late. Do I? Of course not. Why would I do the most logical action? After I put him on his horse a couple of times I resume playing on my phone. There isn't anything else he could possibly put in his mouth, is there?
I hear him choking, I call to him and I look up. He is so red from coughing. I do what I have always done when he starts choking: I kneel down, his legs are on either side of one arm, that hand is holding his shoulder while the other hand is smacking his upper back. I roll him into my other arm and stick my finger into his mouth. NOTHING!!! he's still choking, turning a deep shade of red, purple then blue. I roll him back over and start smacking at his back again. Mommy-mode is gone. Lifeguard-mode is currently responding.
He starts to spit up, good, but he's still turning blue. I check his throat again. STILL NOTHING!!! I smack him again. He starts to spit up more this time. I continue to smack his back as he spits up. Surely whatever it is will come up with everything else. He stops, looks at me as I check him, coughs twice and is fine. My phone was in my hand, ready to call 911, but I was just as ready to run to our local fire-station less than a quarter of a mile from us. He was fine. No crying, just stunned a little.
I called my husband and told him to come home immediately. It's layout night, he's at the office until 4 am. I looked on the floor for what made baby boy nearly choke to death. I don't see anything. My husband pulls up and baby boy is thrilled to see him. I check the floor and finally see the culprit. A PENNY!
I just swept up last night, maybe it was the night before. I straightened everything and made the place look good. There was no money on the floor. With the exception of the straws baby boy spilled and the tissue paper he pulled from a Christmas bag, my floor was spotless. So where did the penny come from?
Hubby stripped him and baby boy and I took a bath; we were both covered. Shock and shame finally hit me. How could I let this happen? How does a mother, new or not, allow her baby to be put in such a situation? Hubby had to calm me down.
Am I unfit at this point or is this one of those things we all learn from? We're all human, but should we be allowed to make such mistakes? It's already been planned for the tree to come down tomorrow. Hubby and I will be cleaning and making this place look like it should be in a magazine. Well, almost that good. We do have a baby that loves to create chaos.
I have to thank the American Red Cross for training me to be a lifeguard and Girl-scouts Heart of the South for paying for my training. Also to Nurse Manning, who I was thinking about as everything was happening. She is the instructor for the "new parents" classes at BMHGT. All I could picture in my mind at that moment is the CPR infant on our table and her instructions on how to smack and check. Lifeguard-mode may have been there, but Nurse Manning was all I could manifest at that point.
I won't say this was a human error. I wish this never happened. I posted this, not to say anything about my parenting as this is the first time he has ever made the attempt at swallowing change. There are no excuses for what happened and I don't intend to make any. I only hope that in my posting about this situation others will learn from my mistake. I won't hover over my son. I'm scared to death, just as any parent is, to losing my son. I know now that after cleaning I still need to get into baby-mode and make sure there isn't anything I may have missed. Baby boy is our little miracle baby.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
American Baby Magazine Holiday Hitch
So if you follow me, or you don't follow me but read my blog, or you follow me on facebook, or maybe even twitter, you know how much I advocate about breastfeeeding. I am probably not far from being a breastfeeding extremist. I asked a woman one day if she breastfeeds her 3 month old. I just met this woman, and though I was composed about her response, I secretly had a little dialogue going on in my head, with her mind you, how I was trying to get her to reverse everything and go back to breastfeeding. Like I said, I am short of being a breastfeeding extremist. And I am proud of this fact. I can compose myself and talk very eloquently about how important it is to breastfeed and listen to all arguments, in front of others at least. Online, the gloves come off and I am ready to win a war!
Anyway, I received my new American Baby magazine for this month. Though I am not very happy with Parents Magazine, and now American Baby, I have indeed enjoyed their information on products and ways bathe your baby, or how to get them to interact to increase certain cognitive skills or whatever else may be helpful, outside of breastfeeding. So when I turned to page 72 of my November 2010 issue, I saw an article titled It's time to nurse. Again with an orange circle above it in white lettering saying Holiday Hitch. Ok, so my first thoughts were "well not everyone wants to see boob," followed by "they must mean church-goers who are out at their two-hour-long, sometimes even longer, Christmas program and the mom doesn't want to miss her other child(ren)'s big debut as whatever character in the churches production of the Nativity, but the baby is crying because they're hungry" or something along those lines.
Due to our own culture, women are left feeling shy, disrespectful or even immodest for feeding their baby publicly without some sort of cover. Now granted, for those that do feel this way, companies have been making loads from women who want to cover but still look stylish while doing it. I am trying to see this from a perspective outside of my own upbringing, but my own upbringing says, "the mother should have been prepared, and if she is out somewhere publicly than she should have brought something to cover herself with if she feels that uncomfortable about it and will just have to leave wherever she is and find a more private area." On the other-hand, my extremist side says, "there is nothing disrespectful, immodest or sexual about what you're doing. Feed your child whether you have a cover or not. If you hear several sharp intakes of breath, well they are obviously looking too hard at you and not paying attention to what is really going on." Now I'm all for covers. I wear a cover most of the time when I'm in public. If I don't have one, oh well. If you really want to stare that hard you can do it through the two black eyes my husband will be happy to give you, as we are usually together.
So, back to this article. I am very upset about it, and really, I shouldn't be so surprised about it coming from a magazine that advertises a lot of formula and not very much about breastfeeding. Going through the magazine, there is a mention of a benefit of breastfeeding and type 2 diabetes on the same page with a small section about sun subs, both are unrelated to each other. Another page shows a baby holding a large bottle, one of those the milk man drops off (do these guys still have a job), with an article talking about how you should get organic instead of regular cows milk. Oh, and there's a little mention to the other side of the baby saying "You can introduce cows milk once your tot is 12 months." Turn a few more pages and there's a full page ad for enfamil. A FULL PAGE AD!!! Yet a mention of the benefit of breastfeeding gets a small 2x3 (I'm guestamting here, not going to pull out my ruler) section. Turn a couple more pages, there's a full page, 5-step how-to on formula. Here's their "Safety First" guidelines:
Finally, we get to the article that has me upset.
I suppose though, I shouldn't expect much from a magazine that advertises mostly on formula. This is just about enough to keep me from renewing my subscription. This really angers me.
Anyway, I received my new American Baby magazine for this month. Though I am not very happy with Parents Magazine, and now American Baby, I have indeed enjoyed their information on products and ways bathe your baby, or how to get them to interact to increase certain cognitive skills or whatever else may be helpful, outside of breastfeeding. So when I turned to page 72 of my November 2010 issue, I saw an article titled It's time to nurse. Again with an orange circle above it in white lettering saying Holiday Hitch. Ok, so my first thoughts were "well not everyone wants to see boob," followed by "they must mean church-goers who are out at their two-hour-long, sometimes even longer, Christmas program and the mom doesn't want to miss her other child(ren)'s big debut as whatever character in the churches production of the Nativity, but the baby is crying because they're hungry" or something along those lines.
Due to our own culture, women are left feeling shy, disrespectful or even immodest for feeding their baby publicly without some sort of cover. Now granted, for those that do feel this way, companies have been making loads from women who want to cover but still look stylish while doing it. I am trying to see this from a perspective outside of my own upbringing, but my own upbringing says, "the mother should have been prepared, and if she is out somewhere publicly than she should have brought something to cover herself with if she feels that uncomfortable about it and will just have to leave wherever she is and find a more private area." On the other-hand, my extremist side says, "there is nothing disrespectful, immodest or sexual about what you're doing. Feed your child whether you have a cover or not. If you hear several sharp intakes of breath, well they are obviously looking too hard at you and not paying attention to what is really going on." Now I'm all for covers. I wear a cover most of the time when I'm in public. If I don't have one, oh well. If you really want to stare that hard you can do it through the two black eyes my husband will be happy to give you, as we are usually together.
So, back to this article. I am very upset about it, and really, I shouldn't be so surprised about it coming from a magazine that advertises a lot of formula and not very much about breastfeeding. Going through the magazine, there is a mention of a benefit of breastfeeding and type 2 diabetes on the same page with a small section about sun subs, both are unrelated to each other. Another page shows a baby holding a large bottle, one of those the milk man drops off (do these guys still have a job), with an article talking about how you should get organic instead of regular cows milk. Oh, and there's a little mention to the other side of the baby saying "You can introduce cows milk once your tot is 12 months." Turn a few more pages and there's a full page ad for enfamil. A FULL PAGE AD!!! Yet a mention of the benefit of breastfeeding gets a small 2x3 (I'm guestamting here, not going to pull out my ruler) section. Turn a couple more pages, there's a full page, 5-step how-to on formula. Here's their "Safety First" guidelines:
- To avoid getting dust or dirt in formula, wipe the top of the container with a damp paper towel before opening (something you do not need to really worry about if you're breastfeeding, unless of course you were playing or have a job where you did get dirty, than I suggest either taking a shower or cleaning your breasts and then feed your child)
- Don't use mineral water to prepare formula. It has high levels of salt and minerals that can harm your baby's kidneys (Something that can harm your baby...hmmm...and this is allowed as opposed to the breastmilk that is filled with all the right nutrients and antibodies, not to mention the most safest liquid a child can drink that will nourish them and help them grow without the fear of disease or infection, dependent upon your own health)
- Microwaving formula produces hot spots that can burn your baby's mouth. Never nuke! (Hmmm...breastmilk is already at the proper temperature, but if you are using a bag of frozen breastmilk, thaw it under some warm water and test the temperature before pouring into a bottle)
- Toss any formula remaining in the bottle after feeding. It contains bacteria from baby's mouth and can make him sick (You won't have this problem with breastfeeding, and as far as bottle-feeding your pumped milk I'm not sure as I've rarely done it)
Finally, we get to the article that has me upset.
At home you may happily breastfeed au naturel, but during holiday visits a blanket will help you avoid unwanted comments and Aunt Margaret's raised eyebrows. "Bring a couple of elegant pashminas to up with," says Leslie Tucker, of Leesburg, Virginia. Lilliam Kim used to feel lonely when her hungry 2-month-old kept the two of them confined to the bedroom for feedings. Then she found a way to avoid feeling left out of the fun: "When I had to nurse I'd grab a relative to join me," she says. "I had a lot of significant conversations, which don't always happen at the dinner table, where everyone's grabbing at once."So yes, this is good sound advice, but what if this is your home people are coming into or if you do not or cannot use a cover maybe because your baby doesn't like to use a cover. Where is the information in the article that should tell a breastfeeding mother how she can say something to her family that her baby doesn't want to be covered or that she doesn't want to miss out on the great time they will all have if they banish her to another room to feed her baby. How about telling a breastfeeding mom how she can turn a chair and breastfeed her baby without anyone seeing anything, or that there are nursing tops that helps keep showing your breast to a minimal.
I suppose though, I shouldn't expect much from a magazine that advertises mostly on formula. This is just about enough to keep me from renewing my subscription. This really angers me.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
My opinion on Playtex® Drop-Ins® bottles
So I wanted to point something out. I find this very interesting how companies that are all about babies will exploit every angle they can in order to get you to buy their product. Take Playtex® for example. Their Drop-Ins® bottles are being marketed as the next best thing to the breast. Granted, William has been on a bottle a couple times a day when I'm gone, but I know what he's getting. I have pumped milk, I give him freshly squeezed juice and on occasion he'll get water.
Now I would really love to give him a bottle that promises: Clinically shown to mimic breastfeeding; Liner collapses like the breast for an air-free feeding; Nipple promotes latch-on like the breast; Clinically proven to reduce gas, colic, and spit-up. It is implied, I suppose in all their jargon, that you will use this bottle with pumped milk.
Now, we have all seen this on cans of formula. Formula companies say they have the next best thing to breastmilk for those who can't or won't breastfeed, including their promise that their product has been proven to reduce gas, colic, and spit-up. Sound familiar? It pains me that companies will do this. And especially to formula-fed families. Formula hurts a baby's tummy anyway and they will have all these problems regardless. Funny how they won't post this information, but they'll state how they're product will make your baby feel so good.
Now I would really love to give him a bottle that promises: Clinically shown to mimic breastfeeding; Liner collapses like the breast for an air-free feeding; Nipple promotes latch-on like the breast; Clinically proven to reduce gas, colic, and spit-up. It is implied, I suppose in all their jargon, that you will use this bottle with pumped milk.
Now, we have all seen this on cans of formula. Formula companies say they have the next best thing to breastmilk for those who can't or won't breastfeed, including their promise that their product has been proven to reduce gas, colic, and spit-up. Sound familiar? It pains me that companies will do this. And especially to formula-fed families. Formula hurts a baby's tummy anyway and they will have all these problems regardless. Funny how they won't post this information, but they'll state how they're product will make your baby feel so good.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Let's talk low milk supply
I want to talk about this a little bit. This has been a question going around with a few of us twitter moms trying to answer. I've mostly been lurking reading some of the answers as I am a first time mom that hasn't had this problem, but had I given up in the beginning, I suspect it would have been a problem. All breastfeeding moms know that feeling when they are lactating, you can feel your nipple to begin to tingle and eventually a drip starts, or in some cases a stream and in some more cases you just spray. I almost feels embarrassing, and did I ever feel embarrassed, but I grew comfortable to this because I knew my supply finally came in.
So do you feel the colostrum as your baby is suckling? This has been a question that has plagued me for the longest. I’ve wondered if I ever did have any or did the continues suckling contribute to only encourage my milk supply to come in?
Everything is so scary when you are a new mom, and I know I had so many questions running through my mind and I'm sure the doctors were aggravated, but they were happy to answer, if only it would get me to shut up. Only a few days old, I had a load of new questions, one of them being what was going on in my baby's diaper? There were orange crystals in his diaper, which I thought was blood. I quickly called my mother-in-law, woke her up and asked her frantically what was wrong. She laughed and said it was normal, but it probably wouldn't hurt to take my son to the pediatrician. So I made a sick baby appointment that very next morning.
I was devastated by what the doctor told me. "The crystals mean your son is dehydrated." I was so ashamed. How could I let this happen to my son? I am his mother. I gave birth to him, I've been feeding him, what's going on? At this point, I thought I was breastfeeding fine, although I had no education in the subject whatsoever, I thought I was doing my job: putting my son to my breast and letting him do all of the work. So what was going on?
"Your milk supply hasn't fully come in yet and it's possible he isn't getting enough." The words every first time mom dreads to hear. I wasn't sure about breastfeeding up to this point, but I am a very competitive person and someone telling me I'm not giving enough is like a challenge. I'm not going to stop because my body is having issues. I will fix the problem!
"For the next week or until you feel you have your supply, and you'll know it when it happens (and boy did I know it), you need to give your son one ounce of formula every two hours than attach him to your breast so he can help manipulate your supply." I was in tears. I thought by being a nursing mother this meant no formula, though up to that point I really thought formula would be okay. We went home and started the process of supplementing. That was the hardest week we had ever lived through. Both my husband and I really wanted to sleep, but we also had this baby that needed our help.
After that week my supply had come in and I was grateful for not having to deal with nipple confusion. I don't know if it's because of the nipples we used or the continuous work of going straight to each breast for 15 minutes after the bottle helped. We were glad to be done with the formula though, it was causing our son to have a lot of gastro issues, which turns out is all babies. Formula is so thick and not easily digestible.
Have you ever been in a situation like mine? Has yours ever been worse? Did you have a support team or were you on your own?
I will tell you the story of someone I know. We were friends for only a short time, but her story is what encouraged me to really push breastfeeding, get the info out there and encourage having that support group. She was a first time mom and had a live in boyfriend, who of course was the father. They didn't have the support they expected, but they did get by with what information they found. They went through the typical first time parent classes, read the books and whatever literature they found to help them through the pregnancy and beyond. After only a few minor complications they gave birth to a beautiful little boy. Everything was fine as far as they knew, but being first time parents means you may not always have a clue about what's happening; especially without a support group to tell you what each little cry means.
It was hard for her in the beginning, but she made it through, until one day when they noticed he wasn't crying like most newborns do. Everything seemed a little off at that point. Her son seemed very lethargic, she couldn't even wake him up. They rushed him to the childrens hospital in Birmingham, the hospital where I'm pretty sure even Mississippi children go to, depending on the circumstances, but don't quote me on that. That is only something I have heard time and again. The baby survived almost another week, but the damage had been done.
She had felt a failure, feeling it was all her fault, feeling that she should have noticed something was wrong long before it had become that bad. When they told me what happened I wasn't sure what to say. How does a baby die of dehydration when we are created in a way to sustain life? She fell into a deep depression afterwards, believing her son's death was all her fault.
Now I don't know what all the circumstances were that led to his death, but after explaining to the pediatricians what had happened and my fear that the same would happen to my son since he was a little dehydrated, I wanted to know how it would end, but it became very clear to me when I remembered the last two weeks of my father's life before he passed away.
"The kidney's are the first to go." It rang through my head, echoing. I remember my father's oncologist explaining to me what was happening. "He is dehydrated and his kidneys are not where they should be because of the cancer. They have hit their end stage."
When the pediatrician explained to me how a baby's body relies on the proper nutrition of breastmilk or formula, it dawned on me. That's how it happened. She didn't really know how much a baby should eat in a day, or how many wet diapers she should have in a day. She didn't have anyone there to tell her what was going on.
This is why I push having a proper support group, surrounding yourself with people who have experienced it all, or most of it, or even becoming educated in everything there is to know. Now that last part may be a bit much, but I think you understand what I mean. My hope is, that even if you struggled the first time, I encourage you to try. Search for a lactation consultant, talk to a doctor and see if medication is needed to increase your supply. Get in touch with a La Leche League leader and surround yourself with women who can help, who understand and can help you through the process.
I'm not sure what else to really say here, and I hope that I have helped people realize how important it is to not be alone when it comes to new adventures in your life, especially when it comes to a new life.
Some links to keep in mind when dealing with low milk supply:
http://www.bestforbabes.org/
http://worldbreastfeedingweek.org/
http://www.fitpregnancy.com/yournewlife/breastfeeding/Low-Milk-Supply-89434367.html?page=1
http://www.mobimotherhood.org/MM/article-lms.aspx
http://www.lowmilksupply.org/
www.sc.edu/healthycarolina/pdf/lsp/ChallengesandStrategies.pdf
http://depts.washington.edu/growing/Nourish/Brfeed.htm
http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/tips-and-solutions/46/low-milk-supply
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/low-supply.html
So do you feel the colostrum as your baby is suckling? This has been a question that has plagued me for the longest. I’ve wondered if I ever did have any or did the continues suckling contribute to only encourage my milk supply to come in?
Everything is so scary when you are a new mom, and I know I had so many questions running through my mind and I'm sure the doctors were aggravated, but they were happy to answer, if only it would get me to shut up. Only a few days old, I had a load of new questions, one of them being what was going on in my baby's diaper? There were orange crystals in his diaper, which I thought was blood. I quickly called my mother-in-law, woke her up and asked her frantically what was wrong. She laughed and said it was normal, but it probably wouldn't hurt to take my son to the pediatrician. So I made a sick baby appointment that very next morning.
I was devastated by what the doctor told me. "The crystals mean your son is dehydrated." I was so ashamed. How could I let this happen to my son? I am his mother. I gave birth to him, I've been feeding him, what's going on? At this point, I thought I was breastfeeding fine, although I had no education in the subject whatsoever, I thought I was doing my job: putting my son to my breast and letting him do all of the work. So what was going on?
"Your milk supply hasn't fully come in yet and it's possible he isn't getting enough." The words every first time mom dreads to hear. I wasn't sure about breastfeeding up to this point, but I am a very competitive person and someone telling me I'm not giving enough is like a challenge. I'm not going to stop because my body is having issues. I will fix the problem!
"For the next week or until you feel you have your supply, and you'll know it when it happens (and boy did I know it), you need to give your son one ounce of formula every two hours than attach him to your breast so he can help manipulate your supply." I was in tears. I thought by being a nursing mother this meant no formula, though up to that point I really thought formula would be okay. We went home and started the process of supplementing. That was the hardest week we had ever lived through. Both my husband and I really wanted to sleep, but we also had this baby that needed our help.
After that week my supply had come in and I was grateful for not having to deal with nipple confusion. I don't know if it's because of the nipples we used or the continuous work of going straight to each breast for 15 minutes after the bottle helped. We were glad to be done with the formula though, it was causing our son to have a lot of gastro issues, which turns out is all babies. Formula is so thick and not easily digestible.
Have you ever been in a situation like mine? Has yours ever been worse? Did you have a support team or were you on your own?
I will tell you the story of someone I know. We were friends for only a short time, but her story is what encouraged me to really push breastfeeding, get the info out there and encourage having that support group. She was a first time mom and had a live in boyfriend, who of course was the father. They didn't have the support they expected, but they did get by with what information they found. They went through the typical first time parent classes, read the books and whatever literature they found to help them through the pregnancy and beyond. After only a few minor complications they gave birth to a beautiful little boy. Everything was fine as far as they knew, but being first time parents means you may not always have a clue about what's happening; especially without a support group to tell you what each little cry means.
It was hard for her in the beginning, but she made it through, until one day when they noticed he wasn't crying like most newborns do. Everything seemed a little off at that point. Her son seemed very lethargic, she couldn't even wake him up. They rushed him to the childrens hospital in Birmingham, the hospital where I'm pretty sure even Mississippi children go to, depending on the circumstances, but don't quote me on that. That is only something I have heard time and again. The baby survived almost another week, but the damage had been done.
She had felt a failure, feeling it was all her fault, feeling that she should have noticed something was wrong long before it had become that bad. When they told me what happened I wasn't sure what to say. How does a baby die of dehydration when we are created in a way to sustain life? She fell into a deep depression afterwards, believing her son's death was all her fault.
Now I don't know what all the circumstances were that led to his death, but after explaining to the pediatricians what had happened and my fear that the same would happen to my son since he was a little dehydrated, I wanted to know how it would end, but it became very clear to me when I remembered the last two weeks of my father's life before he passed away.
"The kidney's are the first to go." It rang through my head, echoing. I remember my father's oncologist explaining to me what was happening. "He is dehydrated and his kidneys are not where they should be because of the cancer. They have hit their end stage."
When the pediatrician explained to me how a baby's body relies on the proper nutrition of breastmilk or formula, it dawned on me. That's how it happened. She didn't really know how much a baby should eat in a day, or how many wet diapers she should have in a day. She didn't have anyone there to tell her what was going on.
This is why I push having a proper support group, surrounding yourself with people who have experienced it all, or most of it, or even becoming educated in everything there is to know. Now that last part may be a bit much, but I think you understand what I mean. My hope is, that even if you struggled the first time, I encourage you to try. Search for a lactation consultant, talk to a doctor and see if medication is needed to increase your supply. Get in touch with a La Leche League leader and surround yourself with women who can help, who understand and can help you through the process.
I'm not sure what else to really say here, and I hope that I have helped people realize how important it is to not be alone when it comes to new adventures in your life, especially when it comes to a new life.
Some links to keep in mind when dealing with low milk supply:
http://www.bestforbabes.org/
http://worldbreastfeedingweek.org/
http://www.fitpregnancy.com/yournewlife/breastfeeding/Low-Milk-Supply-89434367.html?page=1
http://www.mobimotherhood.org/MM/article-lms.aspx
http://www.lowmilksupply.org/
www.sc.edu/healthycarolina/pdf/lsp/ChallengesandStrategies.pdf
http://depts.washington.edu/growing/Nourish/Brfeed.htm
http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/tips-and-solutions/46/low-milk-supply
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/low-supply.html
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Breastfeeding is creepy...are you serious...
I tried to find the full article, but either it's been taken down or you can only view it in the UK Mother & Baby magazine. I, as many mothers are, am completely outraged by an article written by a senior editor for this magazine. Since I can't find the article, I will put the link to the full article from the guardian and my personal opinions after it:
I get it, everyone is entitle to their opinion, but when you are the deputy director of a parents magazine, you have to keep some of your opinions to yourself, unlike Kathryn Blundell. Not only has she upset breastfeeding mothers, but even mothers who formula feed feel upset by what she has said.
First of all, breastfeeding is not "creepy" by any means. It is the way mothers choose to feed their babies, some try it for a little while and others will nurse until their nursling self-weens. Breastfeeding and giving baby pumped milk immediately after a mother is finished pumping is the only way for a baby to get all the proper nutrients and the antibodies they need in order to thrive and have an easier time fighting off practically any illness. Breastfed babies have less stomach upsets, ear infections and can digest breastmilk easier than formula.
Second, "I wanted my body back. (And some wine)… I also wanted to give my boobs at least a chance to stay on my chest rather than dangling around my stomach." For those who don't know, when you breastfeed, you can easily return to your pre-pregnancy weight. According to Nutrition Data I burn 3240.0 kcal/day from my daily routine, including breastfeeding. If I weren't breastfeeding, I would only burn 2840 kcal/day with my current lifestyle. By the way, my current lifestyle includes walking 30-60 minutes at least three time a week, using my WiiFit three times a week doing mostly yoga and housework. And about the comment she makes about her boobs, well that is just ridiculous. Pregnancy, poor posture and a bad bra. When you're pregnant, your ligaments and tendons relax and loosen to the point that your boobs will sag on their own.
According to Brian Rinker, MD, an assistant professor of plastic surgery at the University of Kentucky Medical Center, in Lexington, he heard so many patients blame sagging breasts on breastfeeding that, to see if there really is a connection, he surveyed 132 moms who had sought him out for breast lifts or augmentation. Turns out that age, smoking, being overweight pre-pregnancy, and large breast size, not to mention pregnancy itself (which increases breast size), are all associated with a greater likelihood of sagging. But, surprisingly, breastfeeding is not. "The bottom line is that breastfeeding doesn't have an impact," Dr. Rinker says.
Here is what she feels is creepy: "They're part of my sexuality, too – not just breasts, but fun bags. And when you have that attitude (and I admit I made no attempt to change it), seeing your teeny, tiny, innocent baby latching on where only a lover has been before feels, well, a little creepy." Like I've said, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but this just demoralizes women. We are made to help create life and to nurture that life. The best way to nurture that new life is to feed from your breast milk that is full of antibodies and vitamins that help protect the new life we have created.
Did this lady happen to think about what we're trying to accomplish in other countries? We want to push breastfeeding awareness because there are some countries that do not have the safest water, and giving formula mixed with bad/unsafe water to a baby is not safe at all. Do babies not have a right to the best possible future? And if she couldn't handle a "teeny, tiny, innocent baby latching on where only a lover has been before" than why not pump? Pumping is there to help women who work, go out for a period of time or who have trouble getting their newborn to latch on. Was pumping not an option for this woman?
And her comment on the studies not being enough of a concern for her to want "to stick [her] nipple in a bawling baby's mouth" is unbelievable. I'm helping to lower my risk of breast cancer, but more importantly I am helping to lessen the stomach upsets my baby would get had I fed him formula. By the way, I did do partial formula in the beginning because I wasn't sure about breastfeeding and I wanted him to be full longer. After about a week I began to exclusively breastfeed because the formula was causing a lot of problems. I pumped after the daytime feedings and had enough milk over night that my husband could feed our son so I could also get some sleep.
She continues: "I don't think I'm the only one, either – only 52% of mums still breastfeed after six weeks. Ask most of the quitters why they stopped and you'll hear tales of agonising three-hour feeding sessions and – the drama! – bloody nipples. But I often wonder whether many of these women, like me, just couldn't be fagged or felt like getting tipsy once in a while."
Ok, I'm not sure who has ever had a three hour nursing session before. The most I have had is thirty to forty-five minutes each side, but that was when William was younger than three months. Now, that's not to say someone hasn't gone through a three hour feeding session, but from my experience, a baby doesn't feed for three hours, instead they are suckling after about half an hour, maybe even forty-five minutes. And the bloody nipples can happen, but usually it is caught right away and you can use lanolin and your own breastmilk to heal the cracked skin.
I had to hit up a British dictionary to translate what this woman was saying. When she says "just couldn't be fagged" she is saying she didn't have enough energy or interest to do something. So you're saying that it's easier to get up in the middle of the night, spend the time to make a bottle or warm one up, feed it to your baby and can get them back to sleep right away? When you breastfeed, you have the option of sitting in a chair and breastfeeding, if you feel like getting up and moving in the middle of the night, or laying in the bed and breastfeeding your baby, where both you and the baby will not doubt fall back to sleep. Now, let me remind you not to practice sleeping in the bed with your baby if you are a hard sleeper, taking medications or are overweight. I couldn't sleep for the first week because I was afraid I would crush my baby, but I fell in sync with my baby, learned how to sleep differently and haven't had any problems since he was born, and he is almost seven months.
Who says a breastfeeding mother can't get a little tipsy? Now I'm not for drinking and breastfeeding, but if you feel you want to, you can pump enough to last, drink and then pump and dump until your milk is no longer affected with alcohol. There are strips you can get from Walgreen's that test for alcohol in your milk, but I haven't used them, so I don't know their accuracy. I haven't had a drink since we decided we wanted to have a baby and I don't regret my decision one bit. I'm happy with not drinking, and I can go out with my husband or some friends and have fun without having a drink. Plus, I don't want my son to see me intoxicated and I don't want to be around my son when I am intoxicated. Who knows what could happen.
Hopefully, if you had the chance to breastfeed and didn't, it was because of complications or your milk never came in or you had a low milk supply. Now, it is every woman's choice whether she wants to breastfeed or formula-feed, but knowing what breastfeeding does for a baby's delicate system and knowing what formula does, there is a reason why those of us who can breastfeed choose to do it. I enjoy telling everyone what the benefits are and how it is safer and healthier for a baby, but ultimately it is their decision. I was a formula fed baby because my mother had a hard time breastfeeding and for some reason my brother and I didn't like the taste of her milk. There are some parents who will tell their daughters or daughters-in-law that formula feeding is just as good because they and or their other children turned out just fine and that a baby doesn't really know the difference. A baby can tell the difference if you allow them the chance to find out. I like to encourage new mother's to try breastfeeding if they feel they don't want to do it at all because of lack of support or their own idea about how it's going to impair their life.
Mother & Baby has received scores of letters and emails in praise of the piece. Reader Emma Dwight emailed: "I love your article! Not only does it completely sum up the minds of us formula-feeding mothers, but does it with humour and respect for those breastfeeders too." This was in no way respectful to breastfeeding mothers. Calling breastfeeding creepy, saying that breastfeeding mothers are just too tired to do anything else and can't have a drink because of their choice is not correct. Breastfeeding may not always be easy in the beginning, but it does get easier and I have found that it does not impede on my life in any way, shape or form. It is one of the best things in life I have ever done and my son and I have bonded so greatly because of this. Now, it's not to say formula-fed babies and their mothers don't bond, but there is a special connection between a breastfeeding mother and her baby that just can't be described.
Mother & Baby in no way felt there was a need for an apology. They felt that because this was Blundell's personal experience she had every right to say what she did and that it is an encouragement for all formula feeding families. Though, I do feel those who choose to formula feed do get a bad rap, it is ultimately their decision to make. We do not raise each others kids and there shouldn't really be any reason why they should be shunned for their choice. Some women have no choice but to formula feed, such as those who choose to adopt. Unfortunately, milk banks are expensive and insurance will not cover the expense, so they are left to formula feed. If they can afford it, there is an extra expense to have the birth mother pump her milk so the adoptive child can have breastmilk, but this also can be expensive and unfortunately some children are put up for adoption because the birth mother is on drugs, drinks or smokes and their milk may do more harm than good.
I hope at the end of this, you understand why from this breastfeeding mother's point of view that such an article is unbelievable and should never have been printed the way it was. I was tired in the beginning, like all new mother's are, but I slept when my baby slept and eventually we became accustomed to each other enough that being "fagged" was no longer an issue after some time. I understand the pressure that formula families must feel, but surely there could have been a more appropriate way Kathryn Blundell could have spoken her peace.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jun/27/breastfeeding-is-creepy-outrage
I get it, everyone is entitle to their opinion, but when you are the deputy director of a parents magazine, you have to keep some of your opinions to yourself, unlike Kathryn Blundell. Not only has she upset breastfeeding mothers, but even mothers who formula feed feel upset by what she has said.
First of all, breastfeeding is not "creepy" by any means. It is the way mothers choose to feed their babies, some try it for a little while and others will nurse until their nursling self-weens. Breastfeeding and giving baby pumped milk immediately after a mother is finished pumping is the only way for a baby to get all the proper nutrients and the antibodies they need in order to thrive and have an easier time fighting off practically any illness. Breastfed babies have less stomach upsets, ear infections and can digest breastmilk easier than formula.
Second, "I wanted my body back. (And some wine)… I also wanted to give my boobs at least a chance to stay on my chest rather than dangling around my stomach." For those who don't know, when you breastfeed, you can easily return to your pre-pregnancy weight. According to Nutrition Data I burn 3240.0 kcal/day from my daily routine, including breastfeeding. If I weren't breastfeeding, I would only burn 2840 kcal/day with my current lifestyle. By the way, my current lifestyle includes walking 30-60 minutes at least three time a week, using my WiiFit three times a week doing mostly yoga and housework. And about the comment she makes about her boobs, well that is just ridiculous. Pregnancy, poor posture and a bad bra. When you're pregnant, your ligaments and tendons relax and loosen to the point that your boobs will sag on their own.
According to Brian Rinker, MD, an assistant professor of plastic surgery at the University of Kentucky Medical Center, in Lexington, he heard so many patients blame sagging breasts on breastfeeding that, to see if there really is a connection, he surveyed 132 moms who had sought him out for breast lifts or augmentation. Turns out that age, smoking, being overweight pre-pregnancy, and large breast size, not to mention pregnancy itself (which increases breast size), are all associated with a greater likelihood of sagging. But, surprisingly, breastfeeding is not. "The bottom line is that breastfeeding doesn't have an impact," Dr. Rinker says.
Here is what she feels is creepy: "They're part of my sexuality, too – not just breasts, but fun bags. And when you have that attitude (and I admit I made no attempt to change it), seeing your teeny, tiny, innocent baby latching on where only a lover has been before feels, well, a little creepy." Like I've said, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but this just demoralizes women. We are made to help create life and to nurture that life. The best way to nurture that new life is to feed from your breast milk that is full of antibodies and vitamins that help protect the new life we have created.
Did this lady happen to think about what we're trying to accomplish in other countries? We want to push breastfeeding awareness because there are some countries that do not have the safest water, and giving formula mixed with bad/unsafe water to a baby is not safe at all. Do babies not have a right to the best possible future? And if she couldn't handle a "teeny, tiny, innocent baby latching on where only a lover has been before" than why not pump? Pumping is there to help women who work, go out for a period of time or who have trouble getting their newborn to latch on. Was pumping not an option for this woman?
And her comment on the studies not being enough of a concern for her to want "to stick [her] nipple in a bawling baby's mouth" is unbelievable. I'm helping to lower my risk of breast cancer, but more importantly I am helping to lessen the stomach upsets my baby would get had I fed him formula. By the way, I did do partial formula in the beginning because I wasn't sure about breastfeeding and I wanted him to be full longer. After about a week I began to exclusively breastfeed because the formula was causing a lot of problems. I pumped after the daytime feedings and had enough milk over night that my husband could feed our son so I could also get some sleep.
She continues: "I don't think I'm the only one, either – only 52% of mums still breastfeed after six weeks. Ask most of the quitters why they stopped and you'll hear tales of agonising three-hour feeding sessions and – the drama! – bloody nipples. But I often wonder whether many of these women, like me, just couldn't be fagged or felt like getting tipsy once in a while."
Ok, I'm not sure who has ever had a three hour nursing session before. The most I have had is thirty to forty-five minutes each side, but that was when William was younger than three months. Now, that's not to say someone hasn't gone through a three hour feeding session, but from my experience, a baby doesn't feed for three hours, instead they are suckling after about half an hour, maybe even forty-five minutes. And the bloody nipples can happen, but usually it is caught right away and you can use lanolin and your own breastmilk to heal the cracked skin.
I had to hit up a British dictionary to translate what this woman was saying. When she says "just couldn't be fagged" she is saying she didn't have enough energy or interest to do something. So you're saying that it's easier to get up in the middle of the night, spend the time to make a bottle or warm one up, feed it to your baby and can get them back to sleep right away? When you breastfeed, you have the option of sitting in a chair and breastfeeding, if you feel like getting up and moving in the middle of the night, or laying in the bed and breastfeeding your baby, where both you and the baby will not doubt fall back to sleep. Now, let me remind you not to practice sleeping in the bed with your baby if you are a hard sleeper, taking medications or are overweight. I couldn't sleep for the first week because I was afraid I would crush my baby, but I fell in sync with my baby, learned how to sleep differently and haven't had any problems since he was born, and he is almost seven months.
Who says a breastfeeding mother can't get a little tipsy? Now I'm not for drinking and breastfeeding, but if you feel you want to, you can pump enough to last, drink and then pump and dump until your milk is no longer affected with alcohol. There are strips you can get from Walgreen's that test for alcohol in your milk, but I haven't used them, so I don't know their accuracy. I haven't had a drink since we decided we wanted to have a baby and I don't regret my decision one bit. I'm happy with not drinking, and I can go out with my husband or some friends and have fun without having a drink. Plus, I don't want my son to see me intoxicated and I don't want to be around my son when I am intoxicated. Who knows what could happen.
Hopefully, if you had the chance to breastfeed and didn't, it was because of complications or your milk never came in or you had a low milk supply. Now, it is every woman's choice whether she wants to breastfeed or formula-feed, but knowing what breastfeeding does for a baby's delicate system and knowing what formula does, there is a reason why those of us who can breastfeed choose to do it. I enjoy telling everyone what the benefits are and how it is safer and healthier for a baby, but ultimately it is their decision. I was a formula fed baby because my mother had a hard time breastfeeding and for some reason my brother and I didn't like the taste of her milk. There are some parents who will tell their daughters or daughters-in-law that formula feeding is just as good because they and or their other children turned out just fine and that a baby doesn't really know the difference. A baby can tell the difference if you allow them the chance to find out. I like to encourage new mother's to try breastfeeding if they feel they don't want to do it at all because of lack of support or their own idea about how it's going to impair their life.
Mother & Baby has received scores of letters and emails in praise of the piece. Reader Emma Dwight emailed: "I love your article! Not only does it completely sum up the minds of us formula-feeding mothers, but does it with humour and respect for those breastfeeders too." This was in no way respectful to breastfeeding mothers. Calling breastfeeding creepy, saying that breastfeeding mothers are just too tired to do anything else and can't have a drink because of their choice is not correct. Breastfeeding may not always be easy in the beginning, but it does get easier and I have found that it does not impede on my life in any way, shape or form. It is one of the best things in life I have ever done and my son and I have bonded so greatly because of this. Now, it's not to say formula-fed babies and their mothers don't bond, but there is a special connection between a breastfeeding mother and her baby that just can't be described.
Mother & Baby in no way felt there was a need for an apology. They felt that because this was Blundell's personal experience she had every right to say what she did and that it is an encouragement for all formula feeding families. Though, I do feel those who choose to formula feed do get a bad rap, it is ultimately their decision to make. We do not raise each others kids and there shouldn't really be any reason why they should be shunned for their choice. Some women have no choice but to formula feed, such as those who choose to adopt. Unfortunately, milk banks are expensive and insurance will not cover the expense, so they are left to formula feed. If they can afford it, there is an extra expense to have the birth mother pump her milk so the adoptive child can have breastmilk, but this also can be expensive and unfortunately some children are put up for adoption because the birth mother is on drugs, drinks or smokes and their milk may do more harm than good.
I hope at the end of this, you understand why from this breastfeeding mother's point of view that such an article is unbelievable and should never have been printed the way it was. I was tired in the beginning, like all new mother's are, but I slept when my baby slept and eventually we became accustomed to each other enough that being "fagged" was no longer an issue after some time. I understand the pressure that formula families must feel, but surely there could have been a more appropriate way Kathryn Blundell could have spoken her peace.
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