After years and years of struggling to get pregnant, when I was with my ex-husband, I found out I had PCOS. I am forever grateful to the doctor from the Tule River Reservation. I went into action and did mounds of research.
When DH and I tried getting pregnant, I had to go back for more research because we were unsuccessful for so long. Saw a hematologist nearly a year later to make sure it was safe for me to be on hormones or if I would clot, a fear that had been with me since my mother died from two blood clots.
After repeating tests because things came back abnormal, it turned out it was ok to go on hormones, but there were abnormalities in my blood. Something to consider.
So it was nearly a year later when we were finally pregnant with William. No hormones! I went bak to the first book I ever bought on PCOS and started taking control of my body, not the other way around.
It is considered a huge possibility, from the literature I've read, that PCOS is basically knocked out when you get pregnant. I had only one working ovary, making pregnancy difficult, that was surrounded by polycysts…as if getting pregnant the old fashion way wasn't hard enough already.
Having kids has always been a lifelong dream of mine. When I was told it was going to be nearly impossible, at the time I was married to my ex, I was in tears. Total breakdown. You might as well have yanked it all out because it wasn't doing me any good.
I changed my life when I went through my divorce. My ex made sure to know it was all my fault we couldn't have kids, even though we had him tested and the test came back slow swimmers, it was all my fault. I dropped the baggage. Moved on and found a better life.
Been with my wonderful husband almost seven years now, four of those we've been married. When we started talking children, he already knew my problems and said if trying didn't work out and hormones didn't work, we could always adopt.
I am very grateful to him. He never gave up hope and was there for nearly every appt.
When we did start charting and trying to conceive, a year had passed. Went and saw a doctor who referred me to a hematologist to give the ok for hormones. Still ha to wait another year under a doctors supervision to make sure hormones would be the next step.
I finally gave up. I focused on school. DH wasn't upset and we both agreed perhaps waiting until I graduated was best. I was working at the same time, both involved lots of walking. I was losing weight, was happy, my cycles were regular and I was doing great in school.
The spring semester was halfway through and I had been feeling really rotten. Wouldn't you know losing all that weight would come at a price. I was hurting really bad and was certain I had a UTI, or worse it was bladder cancer (runs on my paternal side, just the women).
So they run tests, asked if I could be pregnant. I explained to them I couldn't get pregnant because of my struggle with PCOS and what I ha been told in the past, but that bladder cancer ran in my family an that I was susceptible to UTIs. So he ordered a urine culture.
"Good news. You are pregnant."
The doctor was smiling, just knowing that somehow it was the right thing to do.
My mouth dropped. I was speechless and looked at my husband. I really didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry, but that's impossible. Urine tests have come back false positive for me before. I really want a blood test done."
His smile faded slightly, but he was still happy knowing he was right.
"Radiology is coming to get you for an ultrasound in a moment."
He left. DH was shocked but beaming. I was still speechless. I wanted a blood test to confirm what my urine always tells me is false.
I cried when I saw that little blimp on the screen. The radiologist told me what she was allowed to tell me, printed some papers and put them in my file. I was beyond words. I WAS PREGNANT!!!
Back in the room the doctor told me how far I was, gave me a date and gave his congratulations. I apologized for earlier and thanked him profusely. I WAS PREGNANT!!!
PCOS be damned I WAS PREGNANT!!! And wouldn't you know breastfeeding is hard for women with PCOS. I struggled in the beginning, but we prevailed. I now have two boys and am successfully breastfeeding!
PCOS BE DAMNED!!! I HAVE TWO BOYS!!!
Truly, PCOS is a struggle. Get checked. See a specialist, find out your options. DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!
Not everyone's story is a success. I've know a few women who either gave up because of PCOS or struggled for so long, even under medical supervision they just couldn't handle the emotions anymore. It's tough. Ask DH. One minute I'm fine, the next I was so manic he couldn't tell you what was wrong with me. I couldn't even, the hormones from PCOS were that controlling. Get checked. And know, that PCOS, as I've heard it put this way, isn't just the fat girl syndrome. Skinny girls also get PCOS. Get checked!
This blog was sparked from a blog I read on TFB's blog: http://resources.thefeministbreeder.com/health-wellness/putting-a-face-on-polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos/
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Ideas for air travel...
Hubs and I are getting ready to go on a family vacation to Seattle with our two little boys...that's going to be lots of fun. I apologize in advance to any of the passengers we'll be sharing the flights with. Though one things for sure: the boys will have plenty of mommy milk to ease them during take off and landing. Of course, Baby Boy will get to eat from the tap. I'll have my Harmony with me so I can pump just enough to fill a couple of oral syringes for the boys' ears.
Any way, so this post is about how we are looking to save money while traveling. So far, I saved us nearly ten dollars on a Traveling Toddler Car Seat Travel Accessory. Never heard of one? Neither had we until we started researching easy ways to travel with a toddler and infant. Is there really an easy way???
Wow!!! At least I know it shouldn't break should we buy this...but we didn't buy it. Remember, I said we are looking to save money. So instead I purchased a 1" x 10' Light Duty Ratchet Tie Down for a whopping $4.88 at Walmart (for loads up to 300lbs and a break strength of 900lbs) vs. the $14.75 + shipping I would have spent with Amazon.
Go-Go Babyz Car Seat Luggage Strap. Wow! $20 plus shipping??? Really??? I just saved us even more money. But that's not the point with this find. This find showed something else I hadn't thought of. Why not just take the tie-down, run it through the car seat and tighten? But what about the top tether latch of the car seat that would keep the tie-down from slipping off our carry-on? The tie down has two hooks, one attached to the strap and one attached to a smaller strap that is attached to the ratchet.
And now I wish I had a picture of Little Boy in his car seat as I toted him around to see how well it worked. He was a happy camper, our lives were made just that much easier and I have a feeling once we're traveling through the airport he will be having a blast.
Any way, so this post is about how we are looking to save money while traveling. So far, I saved us nearly ten dollars on a Traveling Toddler Car Seat Travel Accessory. Never heard of one? Neither had we until we started researching easy ways to travel with a toddler and infant. Is there really an easy way???
A car seat travel accessory is a nylon strap, or as the description states:
"heavyweight polypropylene webbing that will withstand 900 lbs of force"
Wow!!! At least I know it shouldn't break should we buy this...but we didn't buy it. Remember, I said we are looking to save money. So instead I purchased a 1" x 10' Light Duty Ratchet Tie Down for a whopping $4.88 at Walmart (for loads up to 300lbs and a break strength of 900lbs) vs. the $14.75 + shipping I would have spent with Amazon.
Now I was going to get all crafty with it, cut it to the length I needed, add the small D-clips and get rid of the hooks, but then I saw this:
Go-Go Babyz Car Seat Luggage Strap. Wow! $20 plus shipping??? Really??? I just saved us even more money. But that's not the point with this find. This find showed something else I hadn't thought of. Why not just take the tie-down, run it through the car seat and tighten? But what about the top tether latch of the car seat that would keep the tie-down from slipping off our carry-on? The tie down has two hooks, one attached to the strap and one attached to a smaller strap that is attached to the ratchet.
We hooked the two ends together, but I was afraid they would come apart, so hubs suggested a zip-tie. It's not very classy, but it works. We attached the car seat to some carry-on luggage and was really surprised how well it worked. We tethered the top latch of the car seat to the hooks and it helped to distribute the weight very evenly. This was the best $5 dollars we have ever spent. No need to spend more than that for a travel accessory that you may only get to use once or twice.
And now I wish I had a picture of Little Boy in his car seat as I toted him around to see how well it worked. He was a happy camper, our lives were made just that much easier and I have a feeling once we're traveling through the airport he will be having a blast.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
I am a SAHM, I breastfeed and I'm Agnostic.
For those that don't know me, I am a stay at home mom. This is a choice both DH and I have agreed on while I finish school and he works some very bizarre hours. It makes things a little tight at times, but we manage.
We have two wonderful boys, the oldest is almost 26 months and our newest addition is just over three months. I breastfeed them both. I say again, I breastfeed them both. My reasons are my own, but for those who scoff at the idea that a 26 month old is still at the breast: research fully backs up the need for a baby to breastfeed from 2.5 years to as much as 7. I don't know how long my oldest will be breastfeeding as it is his decision. It was his decision when he started to eat solids, which wasn't until 10 months, and it'll be his decision when he stops breastfeeding.
Gasp! Oh my goodness! This lady allows her walking and talking toddler to feed from her. How can this be! Here's another little tidbit: the USDA and AAP have changed the guidelines for toddlers and OTC drugs. Anyone notice how many infants OTC meds are the shelf? Take a look. It's all fever reducers.
Every other medicine that used to be made available for infants and toddlers is now for 4 and older. I have to take my toddler to the pediatrician to get a script for a children's medicine that must be administered at a lower dosage. So you can get the same OTC children's medicine, but from my understanding, unless you have a child four or older, you need a prescription for that OTC.
So that takes us back to breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is a form of medicine. It is still being widely researched for what all is in breastmilk, but if it is good enough to give to cancer patients than it is good enough to give to my toddler.
DH and I were in a huge fight earlier. We're on our way to his dad's and stepmom's to meet his sister's boyfriend, and this young man's request. I hope he knows what he's doing; she does have two older brothers. Anyway, he asked me, he puts it as this one time (which it is the first time) to not breastfeed our youngest in front of this young man. I felt my heart rip in two.
Now before you say I'm being such a drama queen, how would you feel if someone asked you, this one time, for you to go eat in another room, or not eat at all, because they didn't like the way you ate? Insulted? Ashamed? Upset? Torn apart that someone you love and trust told you that you can't do that in front of someone?
Reasons: he's a young man, so don't plop it out (my words not his) in front him to feed our son; you want everyone to have respect for you and your breastfeeding. What about everyone else's feelings? Why can't you make everyone else feel comfortable too (all I hear is why can't you be like other moms and feed with a bottle or why can't you just this one time hide away so nobody feels weird about what's happening)?
BECAUSE I'M NOT ASHAMED OF WHAT I DO
My three month old feeds from "the tap" in public. Depending on what I'm wearing and how active my son is depends on whether I will cover up. Also, depending on where I am. When I am over at other peoples homes I will wear a cover or a blanket. I do have respect for other peoples dwellings. If I know I am in a home where the people living there believe in breastfeeding, I won't cover, unless I have seen them cover, then I'll know their position on public breastfeeding.
When we go to my in-laws, I cover. At my home, I will not cover. That is where I sleep, eat, shower, do my business, live and make the rules. I will not cover up in my own home.
DH told me I sound like some kind of activist, that I have basically taken this too far. Correction.
I AM A LACTIVIST!!!
I stand for breastfeeding. I stand for my right to breastfeed where I want and when I want, rather when my son wants. I don't practice the cry it out method. I practice shove that nipple in that crying baby's mouth method. I say shove because this is what people tend to say when a baby is crying and you've tried everything else.
Yes, I publicly breastfeed, sometimes covered sometimes not. Yes, I feed my toddler, but for him it is just snack time, and we're normally home during snack time or he falls asleep. He hasn't nursed in public since right before I was pregnant with our youngest. It's just how it's worked out, but I do feed him at other people's homes, when there isn't so much going on. He practices gymnastics breastfeeding, so sometimes it's a little difficult.
So after DH finally apologized for making me cry, and yes I bawled my eyes out because he was the last person I expected to tell me to hide away in a room this one time. That really hurt my feelings. So yes I cried, and cried, and cried.
Finally, yes. I'm an agnostic. I haven't been to church on my own since my mom died. And really, I haven't talked to god since then either. That's nearly ten years. I grew up in the Lutheran religion the majority of my life, and I was led to believe that Lutheranism is the one true religion, that all others believe in way too much or practice weird things. I have questioned this for a long time.
I married an atheist, who grew up a baptist. We have been telling my family for the past six years we have been attending a church or different churches. DH brought up an interesting point. If I can't make his family feel comfortable, because my breastfeeding is obviously something to be ashamed of, then why should he continue to make my family comfortable.
He's right. This is the first time it is coming out. I should probably talk to my family first before saying this, but I will see them in a little over a month and if they have questions I am happy to answer them. We don't talk to god. We don't talk about god. We both agreed when our kids are older they can make the decision themselves. If they want to go to church, we happily support them.
We have religious friends. We get along great with our religious friends. Sometimes we talk about religion, but it normally doesn't come up. Not by choice, it just doesn't. We don't seclude ourselves from people who believe in what they want to believe in. Why should we? We don't have a problem with them or religion. We only choose to believe in what we do believe in.
So yes. Now it's time for us to be comfortable. We are not religious. We don't attend church, I breastfeed whenever and wherever and will continue to do so until my boys no longer want to breastfeed. I will continue to stand up for breastfeeding and continue to support every woman's right to ready feed whenever and wherever she likes.
We have two wonderful boys, the oldest is almost 26 months and our newest addition is just over three months. I breastfeed them both. I say again, I breastfeed them both. My reasons are my own, but for those who scoff at the idea that a 26 month old is still at the breast: research fully backs up the need for a baby to breastfeed from 2.5 years to as much as 7. I don't know how long my oldest will be breastfeeding as it is his decision. It was his decision when he started to eat solids, which wasn't until 10 months, and it'll be his decision when he stops breastfeeding.
Gasp! Oh my goodness! This lady allows her walking and talking toddler to feed from her. How can this be! Here's another little tidbit: the USDA and AAP have changed the guidelines for toddlers and OTC drugs. Anyone notice how many infants OTC meds are the shelf? Take a look. It's all fever reducers.
Every other medicine that used to be made available for infants and toddlers is now for 4 and older. I have to take my toddler to the pediatrician to get a script for a children's medicine that must be administered at a lower dosage. So you can get the same OTC children's medicine, but from my understanding, unless you have a child four or older, you need a prescription for that OTC.
So that takes us back to breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is a form of medicine. It is still being widely researched for what all is in breastmilk, but if it is good enough to give to cancer patients than it is good enough to give to my toddler.
DH and I were in a huge fight earlier. We're on our way to his dad's and stepmom's to meet his sister's boyfriend, and this young man's request. I hope he knows what he's doing; she does have two older brothers. Anyway, he asked me, he puts it as this one time (which it is the first time) to not breastfeed our youngest in front of this young man. I felt my heart rip in two.
Now before you say I'm being such a drama queen, how would you feel if someone asked you, this one time, for you to go eat in another room, or not eat at all, because they didn't like the way you ate? Insulted? Ashamed? Upset? Torn apart that someone you love and trust told you that you can't do that in front of someone?
Reasons: he's a young man, so don't plop it out (my words not his) in front him to feed our son; you want everyone to have respect for you and your breastfeeding. What about everyone else's feelings? Why can't you make everyone else feel comfortable too (all I hear is why can't you be like other moms and feed with a bottle or why can't you just this one time hide away so nobody feels weird about what's happening)?
BECAUSE I'M NOT ASHAMED OF WHAT I DO
My three month old feeds from "the tap" in public. Depending on what I'm wearing and how active my son is depends on whether I will cover up. Also, depending on where I am. When I am over at other peoples homes I will wear a cover or a blanket. I do have respect for other peoples dwellings. If I know I am in a home where the people living there believe in breastfeeding, I won't cover, unless I have seen them cover, then I'll know their position on public breastfeeding.
When we go to my in-laws, I cover. At my home, I will not cover. That is where I sleep, eat, shower, do my business, live and make the rules. I will not cover up in my own home.
DH told me I sound like some kind of activist, that I have basically taken this too far. Correction.
I AM A LACTIVIST!!!
I stand for breastfeeding. I stand for my right to breastfeed where I want and when I want, rather when my son wants. I don't practice the cry it out method. I practice shove that nipple in that crying baby's mouth method. I say shove because this is what people tend to say when a baby is crying and you've tried everything else.
Yes, I publicly breastfeed, sometimes covered sometimes not. Yes, I feed my toddler, but for him it is just snack time, and we're normally home during snack time or he falls asleep. He hasn't nursed in public since right before I was pregnant with our youngest. It's just how it's worked out, but I do feed him at other people's homes, when there isn't so much going on. He practices gymnastics breastfeeding, so sometimes it's a little difficult.
So after DH finally apologized for making me cry, and yes I bawled my eyes out because he was the last person I expected to tell me to hide away in a room this one time. That really hurt my feelings. So yes I cried, and cried, and cried.
Finally, yes. I'm an agnostic. I haven't been to church on my own since my mom died. And really, I haven't talked to god since then either. That's nearly ten years. I grew up in the Lutheran religion the majority of my life, and I was led to believe that Lutheranism is the one true religion, that all others believe in way too much or practice weird things. I have questioned this for a long time.
I married an atheist, who grew up a baptist. We have been telling my family for the past six years we have been attending a church or different churches. DH brought up an interesting point. If I can't make his family feel comfortable, because my breastfeeding is obviously something to be ashamed of, then why should he continue to make my family comfortable.
He's right. This is the first time it is coming out. I should probably talk to my family first before saying this, but I will see them in a little over a month and if they have questions I am happy to answer them. We don't talk to god. We don't talk about god. We both agreed when our kids are older they can make the decision themselves. If they want to go to church, we happily support them.
We have religious friends. We get along great with our religious friends. Sometimes we talk about religion, but it normally doesn't come up. Not by choice, it just doesn't. We don't seclude ourselves from people who believe in what they want to believe in. Why should we? We don't have a problem with them or religion. We only choose to believe in what we do believe in.
So yes. Now it's time for us to be comfortable. We are not religious. We don't attend church, I breastfeed whenever and wherever and will continue to do so until my boys no longer want to breastfeed. I will continue to stand up for breastfeeding and continue to support every woman's right to ready feed whenever and wherever she likes.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
The holidays unveil the reality of life
As I lay here in bed, my head pounding from a sinus infection I'm trying to nip in the butt, I'm deciding whether or not I want to cry. Nothing horrible happened tonight, well except for the fact that we saw what lots of sugar and not enough sleep does to a toddler. Since Baby Boy was born my emotions have been set in overdrive. I'm not depressed by any means, at least I don't believe I am. Baby Boy is almost 9 weeks and I haven't cried once, though the urge has been there. Who knew how overwhelming having a newborn and a toddler could be.
Anyway, I have been dealing with this feeling of dread for quite some time. Tonight really forced that emotion to the surface; actually it's been the combination of the last few days events. I just kissed DH bye as he headed to Walgreens to pick up some pictures, batteries and medicine. I really wanted to cry then.
Every time I kiss him bye I often wonder if that's the last time I'll see him. I make it a point to pour my love and feelings into every kiss and give him this look of my undying devotion. You may be asking yourself why? Could this crazy lady be married to a man who is a cop, a firefighter or someone whose job forces them to put their life on the line?
In actuality, his life is on the line, but he isn't a public servant; not by any means. He is actually one of the most hated people in the city. No, he is not a politician. He is actually something worse. For purposes of anonymity, we will just say he is a crime reporter.
A reporter? Right, that is so dangerous. Let me stop you at that thought. I also thought the same thing at one point. A crime reporter just reports the crime, they get quotes from witnesses and the public servants at every scene. DH doesn't just report crime, he reports every detail of the truth of what happened at every scene, but not every crime he and the other reporters go to make it in the paper. There is always that bigger and better story that pushes everything else down the ladder.
DH has come home in the past, telling me someone being arrested threatened his life. He's friends with several of the cops and they often look at him and ask him if he wishes to press charges for someone threatening his life. He won't, because it will only make the matter worse, especially when 99% of the time it's just an open threat.
Now, I believe that percentage has gone down to 90%. I used to blow off the threats as people being pissed off. Who wants to end up in the paper, their face under some catchy/corny headline making fun of them for getting caught, there for the public to see? Nobody does, but there are those who take it to the next level.
The first time DH came home telling me someone threatened his life, I laughed. 1) What were they really going to do? 2) Did they know who they were threatening? 3) Refer back to 1.
It was all fine and dandy in the beginning, but it has slowly turned into no laughing matter. The first time DH told me someone tried to follow him home I didn't worry about it. I used to be a cop, I am familiar with the threats and how dangerous people can be when being arrested and how far they may be willing to go. I get it, but I know DH is much too careful and crafty to allow someone to follow him to our home.
The threats have become more frequent over time. He is the most hated man in our city. With another baby here, the thought of something happening to him has really driven the reality of the situation home. What would happen if he was no longer around? How would we survive? Seeing how my oldest has been with DH really drives home the reality of how hard life would be if he weren't here.
A couple nights ago, while DH was at a gas station picking up a couple drinks on his way back home from a call, he saw a man he recognized. It was someone that had threatened to kill him. I'm at home, figuring he had a call while on his way home. He comes in and tells me what happened, and that he drove around for five blocks, going different ways to make sure he wasn't being followed, and he was pretty sure he was being followed for a bit.
Poor guy is worn out too. Between a new baby, a toddler who won't sleep, and doing three or four peoples jobs, I wonder how much more he can handle before it becomes too much and something bad happens.
We know we're definitely going to buy a new place, someplace not in the city. Unfortunately, that also means he won't be home with us when he works nights, which will be a huge adjustment and will also bring on lots of fights. Little Boy loves spending time with his daddy, and Baby Boy needs to know there is a daddy in the picture. Moving means seeing daddy an hour or two in the mornings Monday to Wednesday, three hours Tuesday night, eight hours Thursday to Saturday and 12 hours Sunday. I'm taking time out for sleep.
So that's 45 hours in a week to see daddy, and that's on a normal, expected week. Minus nap time, which averages 2hrs a day, we're looking at an average of 31hrs. Sounds like plenty, right? Let's break down the time for someone with a 9-5 job. My boys wake up at about 7 in the morning. So we'll say 90 minutes every morning, 5 days a week. So that's 7-1/2hrs so far. My boys go to bed at 9, so we'll say 3-1/2hrs before bed, 5 days a week. That's 17-1/2hrs, so now we're at 25hrs. My boys are up for 14hrs, so that's 53hrs total. Minus nap time, we're averaging 39hrs a week to see daddy.
To me, 8hrs is a lot. That's 8hrs not chasing crime, not being threatened, not being followed, not having to worry about whether or not my husband, my boys' daddy, is coming home. Sure, he can get in a car accident or some other common accident, maybe afflicted with some kind of disease or sickness. But doing what he does, there's more of a chance he could be shot, stabbed, have someone follow him home and do who knows what.
This holiday really has opened my eyes to what I have and what I don't want to lose. Drama queen? Yes I am. But I'm also a realist. I look at everything from all angles, every possibility and pick out the likeliest scenarios. Though the likeliest, scariest scenarios may not happen, they are still there and still a greater possibility than the average incident.
Anyway, I have been dealing with this feeling of dread for quite some time. Tonight really forced that emotion to the surface; actually it's been the combination of the last few days events. I just kissed DH bye as he headed to Walgreens to pick up some pictures, batteries and medicine. I really wanted to cry then.
Every time I kiss him bye I often wonder if that's the last time I'll see him. I make it a point to pour my love and feelings into every kiss and give him this look of my undying devotion. You may be asking yourself why? Could this crazy lady be married to a man who is a cop, a firefighter or someone whose job forces them to put their life on the line?
In actuality, his life is on the line, but he isn't a public servant; not by any means. He is actually one of the most hated people in the city. No, he is not a politician. He is actually something worse. For purposes of anonymity, we will just say he is a crime reporter.
A reporter? Right, that is so dangerous. Let me stop you at that thought. I also thought the same thing at one point. A crime reporter just reports the crime, they get quotes from witnesses and the public servants at every scene. DH doesn't just report crime, he reports every detail of the truth of what happened at every scene, but not every crime he and the other reporters go to make it in the paper. There is always that bigger and better story that pushes everything else down the ladder.
DH has come home in the past, telling me someone being arrested threatened his life. He's friends with several of the cops and they often look at him and ask him if he wishes to press charges for someone threatening his life. He won't, because it will only make the matter worse, especially when 99% of the time it's just an open threat.
Now, I believe that percentage has gone down to 90%. I used to blow off the threats as people being pissed off. Who wants to end up in the paper, their face under some catchy/corny headline making fun of them for getting caught, there for the public to see? Nobody does, but there are those who take it to the next level.
The first time DH came home telling me someone threatened his life, I laughed. 1) What were they really going to do? 2) Did they know who they were threatening? 3) Refer back to 1.
It was all fine and dandy in the beginning, but it has slowly turned into no laughing matter. The first time DH told me someone tried to follow him home I didn't worry about it. I used to be a cop, I am familiar with the threats and how dangerous people can be when being arrested and how far they may be willing to go. I get it, but I know DH is much too careful and crafty to allow someone to follow him to our home.
The threats have become more frequent over time. He is the most hated man in our city. With another baby here, the thought of something happening to him has really driven the reality of the situation home. What would happen if he was no longer around? How would we survive? Seeing how my oldest has been with DH really drives home the reality of how hard life would be if he weren't here.
A couple nights ago, while DH was at a gas station picking up a couple drinks on his way back home from a call, he saw a man he recognized. It was someone that had threatened to kill him. I'm at home, figuring he had a call while on his way home. He comes in and tells me what happened, and that he drove around for five blocks, going different ways to make sure he wasn't being followed, and he was pretty sure he was being followed for a bit.
Poor guy is worn out too. Between a new baby, a toddler who won't sleep, and doing three or four peoples jobs, I wonder how much more he can handle before it becomes too much and something bad happens.
We know we're definitely going to buy a new place, someplace not in the city. Unfortunately, that also means he won't be home with us when he works nights, which will be a huge adjustment and will also bring on lots of fights. Little Boy loves spending time with his daddy, and Baby Boy needs to know there is a daddy in the picture. Moving means seeing daddy an hour or two in the mornings Monday to Wednesday, three hours Tuesday night, eight hours Thursday to Saturday and 12 hours Sunday. I'm taking time out for sleep.
So that's 45 hours in a week to see daddy, and that's on a normal, expected week. Minus nap time, which averages 2hrs a day, we're looking at an average of 31hrs. Sounds like plenty, right? Let's break down the time for someone with a 9-5 job. My boys wake up at about 7 in the morning. So we'll say 90 minutes every morning, 5 days a week. So that's 7-1/2hrs so far. My boys go to bed at 9, so we'll say 3-1/2hrs before bed, 5 days a week. That's 17-1/2hrs, so now we're at 25hrs. My boys are up for 14hrs, so that's 53hrs total. Minus nap time, we're averaging 39hrs a week to see daddy.
To me, 8hrs is a lot. That's 8hrs not chasing crime, not being threatened, not being followed, not having to worry about whether or not my husband, my boys' daddy, is coming home. Sure, he can get in a car accident or some other common accident, maybe afflicted with some kind of disease or sickness. But doing what he does, there's more of a chance he could be shot, stabbed, have someone follow him home and do who knows what.
This holiday really has opened my eyes to what I have and what I don't want to lose. Drama queen? Yes I am. But I'm also a realist. I look at everything from all angles, every possibility and pick out the likeliest scenarios. Though the likeliest, scariest scenarios may not happen, they are still there and still a greater possibility than the average incident.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
I did it to myself
Sort of sad and in a lot of pain. Baby boy is seven weeks old and guess what decided to pay a visit. Not only did my lochia last forever, but now I get to be a vampire again, or maybe I should say zombie; both can bleed forever and not die from it…
So what changed? I'm not bed-sharing this time; we bought a co-sleeper. We gave him a pacifier already; I think we waited nearly six months before Little Boy was given a pacifier, and my cycle didn't return until he was about 13 months…maybe a little before that.
Baby Boy is a horrible night nurser! I wake up engorged and he's still passed out, yet he also has a paci. I did it myself, didn't I. I have caused it to come back early because I'm not repeating the same steps.
I really just wanted my own space back and to snuggle with my hubby. Little Boy is sleeping in his own bed now, so can't I have my space from needy babies and cuddle time with hubby? I'm thinking it might be time to set some sort of schedule.
No, not the kind Dr. Spock has trained society to understand. This schedule will still follow Baby Boys's cues, but I'm going to have to time between those cues. Once I figure out his general pattern, I will have to set an alarm to get up and go pump. As much as I dislike the idea, cause I really hate to pump, I am going to have to find a way to use LAM.
I suppose we could always bed-share, but I really like my cuddle time. So no more pacis! Nurse more frequently! It's not that I want to keep aunt flow at bay, and yes I do for fertility purposes, but our supply can take a dip when menstruation happens. I have a seven week old. I don't want supply issues already.
Oh, and I'm in pain because I suffer from barometric arthritis. I don't have menstrual cramps.
So what changed? I'm not bed-sharing this time; we bought a co-sleeper. We gave him a pacifier already; I think we waited nearly six months before Little Boy was given a pacifier, and my cycle didn't return until he was about 13 months…maybe a little before that.
Baby Boy is a horrible night nurser! I wake up engorged and he's still passed out, yet he also has a paci. I did it myself, didn't I. I have caused it to come back early because I'm not repeating the same steps.
I really just wanted my own space back and to snuggle with my hubby. Little Boy is sleeping in his own bed now, so can't I have my space from needy babies and cuddle time with hubby? I'm thinking it might be time to set some sort of schedule.
No, not the kind Dr. Spock has trained society to understand. This schedule will still follow Baby Boys's cues, but I'm going to have to time between those cues. Once I figure out his general pattern, I will have to set an alarm to get up and go pump. As much as I dislike the idea, cause I really hate to pump, I am going to have to find a way to use LAM.
I suppose we could always bed-share, but I really like my cuddle time. So no more pacis! Nurse more frequently! It's not that I want to keep aunt flow at bay, and yes I do for fertility purposes, but our supply can take a dip when menstruation happens. I have a seven week old. I don't want supply issues already.
Oh, and I'm in pain because I suffer from barometric arthritis. I don't have menstrual cramps.
Monday, December 12, 2011
It's been too long...
Well, it's been so long since I've last updated this thing. What have I been up to...oh yes, I recently had baby number two, I started cloth diapering, I finished the semester, I'm taking a break from school for a little bit, I'm becoming crafty...I'm sure there is something I am forgetting.
Cloth is taking over my life! DH bought me a sewing machine for Christmas and I can't wait until it gets here! I have so many ideas in my head that I think I will explode! Hubby is glad though, it's keeping me happy and busy. Plus, I'm finding ways for us to save loads of money!
I'm successfully breastfeeding baby number two...oh, by the way we had another boy! Little Boy has decided he wants to nurse again. Not only am I nursing a newborn that has decided he is going to get an early start on his gymnastics, I'm also nursing a toddler that enjoys his gymnastics while tandem! How insane is that!
My birth was pretty easy. I wanted natural and was on my way there, but I was given pitocin and survived it for four hours. It became to unbearable and I wanted my epidural. I kept going back and forth, but for some reason I wasn't dilating fast enough. It had nothing to do with the scar tissue from last time. Maybe Baby Boy wasn't really ready, even though my water broke at seven in the morning...and on a Wednesday no less. Hubby tried to contain his enthusiasm as he texted "shit" to his boss, whose wife had baby number three two week earlier. Hubby works for a newspaper and it goes to press, needs to go to press, by Wednesday night. I laughed when DH told me the hospital staff gave him the dirtiest look as he brought a crate of work with him. It was hilarious especially since the crate is pink. Told hubby to bring my school work to the hospital. I was determined to get some work done. That didn't really pan out.
Baby Boy will be seven weeks soon. Little Boy just turned two. Hubby thinks I'm crazy because I'm already planning baby number 3, but we won't be pregnant, at least don't plan to be pregnant, until Baby Boy has already turned two. Little Boy will be four, almost five, when baby number 3 arrives. Hopefully being past thirty won't cause us too many fertility problems...especially since it took us nearly three years just to get pregnant with Little Boy.
DH and I are going to lose weight together. Part of our whole turning green is becoming more sustainable. That means eating more at home and making healthier choices for all of us. I've already lost the baby weight and plan on running soon. Actually, that was supposed to start yesterday now that I think about it, but sleep has escaped me and I don't have the energy.
Especially since my energy is focused elsewhere. I went to a Cloth Diapering 101 class through Starkville Natural Parenting. Since a friend of mine couldn't make it, I told her I would take notes. Well I took video instead. I'm finally getting around to editing the video. Yah, that's proving to be more work than I expected. I think I need to find an external mouse or put the video and software on DH's computer. Doing this on a laptop is killing me!
I told Laura, the SNP member who conducted the class, that I took video and was putting it together for a friend who couldn't make it and asked her if she wanted a copy for her website or SNP's website. Yah, now I've become a perfectionist. I told her it would be ready by the end of this week. So I've given myself a timeline and need to get it done. Which means I have started over twice. I am about to start over a third time. The software I d/l can't rotate video, and since PCs don't really like iPhone videos, I had to use Windows Movie Maker. DH came up with a brilliant idea, right as I saved the movie and it is still converting an hour later. Didn't think about rotating the video in WMM, making it and then putting it in the other software! I'm so angry with myself.
That's ok though. Day three of working on this should prove good. I know what I want it to look like and I know what I need to do now. It'll be looking pretty good by the end of the week, I hope. It better! I'm an amateur at video editing, but that doesn't mean it can't look good as far as amateur work goes. And the software I d/l is pretty good, so I'm hopeful.
Well, I suppose that is it for now. I am hoping to be more active here in the future. Planning on blogging every week. I have so much I like to talk about and so much going on right now!
Cloth is taking over my life! DH bought me a sewing machine for Christmas and I can't wait until it gets here! I have so many ideas in my head that I think I will explode! Hubby is glad though, it's keeping me happy and busy. Plus, I'm finding ways for us to save loads of money!
I'm successfully breastfeeding baby number two...oh, by the way we had another boy! Little Boy has decided he wants to nurse again. Not only am I nursing a newborn that has decided he is going to get an early start on his gymnastics, I'm also nursing a toddler that enjoys his gymnastics while tandem! How insane is that!
My birth was pretty easy. I wanted natural and was on my way there, but I was given pitocin and survived it for four hours. It became to unbearable and I wanted my epidural. I kept going back and forth, but for some reason I wasn't dilating fast enough. It had nothing to do with the scar tissue from last time. Maybe Baby Boy wasn't really ready, even though my water broke at seven in the morning...and on a Wednesday no less. Hubby tried to contain his enthusiasm as he texted "shit" to his boss, whose wife had baby number three two week earlier. Hubby works for a newspaper and it goes to press, needs to go to press, by Wednesday night. I laughed when DH told me the hospital staff gave him the dirtiest look as he brought a crate of work with him. It was hilarious especially since the crate is pink. Told hubby to bring my school work to the hospital. I was determined to get some work done. That didn't really pan out.
Baby Boy will be seven weeks soon. Little Boy just turned two. Hubby thinks I'm crazy because I'm already planning baby number 3, but we won't be pregnant, at least don't plan to be pregnant, until Baby Boy has already turned two. Little Boy will be four, almost five, when baby number 3 arrives. Hopefully being past thirty won't cause us too many fertility problems...especially since it took us nearly three years just to get pregnant with Little Boy.
DH and I are going to lose weight together. Part of our whole turning green is becoming more sustainable. That means eating more at home and making healthier choices for all of us. I've already lost the baby weight and plan on running soon. Actually, that was supposed to start yesterday now that I think about it, but sleep has escaped me and I don't have the energy.
Especially since my energy is focused elsewhere. I went to a Cloth Diapering 101 class through Starkville Natural Parenting. Since a friend of mine couldn't make it, I told her I would take notes. Well I took video instead. I'm finally getting around to editing the video. Yah, that's proving to be more work than I expected. I think I need to find an external mouse or put the video and software on DH's computer. Doing this on a laptop is killing me!
I told Laura, the SNP member who conducted the class, that I took video and was putting it together for a friend who couldn't make it and asked her if she wanted a copy for her website or SNP's website. Yah, now I've become a perfectionist. I told her it would be ready by the end of this week. So I've given myself a timeline and need to get it done. Which means I have started over twice. I am about to start over a third time. The software I d/l can't rotate video, and since PCs don't really like iPhone videos, I had to use Windows Movie Maker. DH came up with a brilliant idea, right as I saved the movie and it is still converting an hour later. Didn't think about rotating the video in WMM, making it and then putting it in the other software! I'm so angry with myself.
That's ok though. Day three of working on this should prove good. I know what I want it to look like and I know what I need to do now. It'll be looking pretty good by the end of the week, I hope. It better! I'm an amateur at video editing, but that doesn't mean it can't look good as far as amateur work goes. And the software I d/l is pretty good, so I'm hopeful.
Well, I suppose that is it for now. I am hoping to be more active here in the future. Planning on blogging every week. I have so much I like to talk about and so much going on right now!
Monday, February 7, 2011
I can admit when I am wrong...sometimes...
I am a very proud person, and I have this mentality that I am always right. I am a very stubborn woman and I try to be as educated as possible. Though, I do know that the most educated answer isn't always the right answer. And sometimes the most obvious answer is not the correct answer.
Two, maybe three, weeks ago I was ranting about how Mississippians can't drive in this winter weather. Mississippi isn't known for having "Northern" weather. Lately, we have had some very interesting winter weather. Weather that, any Mississippian would agree, is usually seen north of us, very north of us. Thus, the state only has a handful of salt trucks. We just aren't used to this weather.
Last week the winter fairy hit us, yet again. This time, it was really bad. DH calls me, as I'm leaving my last class for the week and tells me that I may not be able to make it home?
"Why?" I asked, suddenly panicked, thinking about my breastfed baby and how I'm going to survive the night if I'm stuck.
"The police are shutting down all the bridges. A cop has already been hit."
Unfortunately, the city we live in is only accessed by bridges. I'm sure I could probably find another way, but that would involve going way north or way south, entering Alabama and trying to avoid any bridge. However, being surrounded by many bodies of water, I'm sure that is also out of the question. So I'm panicking, pissed at the school for not letting us go early and frantic at how I am going to pump without a pump.
I called my lactation consultant. She is such a lifesaver, and though I was calm as can be, I'm sure she could sense my panic. I asked her if the local hospital had a pump I could rent or one there that I could use. I don't believe our hospital is very baby friendly, but surely they would have something I could use in case of an emergency.
"You have to call them to make sure they have one available. And if they do, you probably will have to purchase a kit."
That had registered at some point, but what didn't register is whether they would have one available or not. They are a hospital after all, wouldn't, or shouldn't, they have pumps available, or even a pump that can be used in the hospital with a purchased kit? So now I'm panicking again. Can my night get any worse?
Luckily, I was able to make it home. It took me anywhere between two to three hours, a trip that normally takes me about 30-45 minutes. I think I've ranted about something that has nothing to do with the title of this post...hmmm...
So what am I to admit that I am wrong about, this time? I'm not wrong often, at least I don't try to be.
"If you can't get to the hospital, or if they don't have a pump for you to use, you may have to manually express. Do you know how to do that?"
This was my lactation consultant, keeping me grounded in case I was to get stuck. Sure, I know how to manually express. Doesn't everybody? Well, no. If you haven't done it than you don't know what to do, or so the consensus is. So today, not even a week after this terrible storm came through, I forgot my pump. The one thing I absolutely need while at school. Sure, I need a pencil, some paper and a textbook, but I can borrow these things and or share with a classmate. I cannot do this with a pump. So what is a breastfeeder to do?
It was easier to go to the smaller lactation room on campus by this point. I was either going to waste the milk into a paper towel or put it into something, but I had no clue what. Well, I had a water bottle. I poured the rest of the water out, sat down and opened up shop. It's okay, I had done this once before. Maybe I wasn't fully prepared then. I didn't get very much milk then, but maybe this time would be different. I had an hour, well, 45 minutes really, before I needed to leave to get to my class. I could do this.
And then the pain starts. My wrists began to hurt, and squeezing your breasts tend to put your wrists at an awkward angle. Yes, I said breasts. Problem number one. I kept trying to express, but then my breasts started to hurt and ache. They were full, so I knew I needed to express before I became engorged, but I was only getting a drop or two. There was no let down happening! So what's a mommy to do? Before I answer that, I have to essentially show you what it was I thought was the correct way. Someone had told me that it's like milking a cow. Well, I don't know if they have ever milked a cow, but surely there had to be more of an explanation. After all, I grew up in the military and graduated high school from a retirement town. Though, it was a farming town, I never did see what it was like to milk a cow.
I've often told other women along my breastfeeding journey to do the same thing. And I've done this, how I thought it was supposed to be done. Manually expressing me, not a cow. There was so much pain. I thought this is what it would feel like to have a mammogram based on my mother's own experiences. It was so painful and I couldn't stand it. I told my self I would never do it again, I knew how and that was enough. I won't ever forget my pump so I don't need to ever worry about it again.
This is what I did to my entire breast! Well, not so fast, but it's what I was doing. So painful!!! I would start from my chest and move all the way down to my nipple, while grasping firmly and causing immense pain. Not even my pump causes that much pain! I had less than an hour left before class, let down hasn't happened and I'm almost in tears because my wrists hurts as well as my breasts. What is a breastfeeder to do? I did the only logical thing I could think of. I went to YouTube and searched for manually expressing breastmilk. Would YouTube allow that to be on? Thankfully, yes!
I'm searching, waiting for a video to come up and waiting for the pain to go away. Surely there was a much easier, less painful way to express a couple ounces from each side. And there was! Let me introduce you to the marmet technique! Why didn't I ever take a breastfeeding class? This would have been so helpful to know before all the pain I put myself through! Not to mention it was super easy and my wrists didn't hurt as bad. Actually, the pain was very dull. Though I don't want to ever have to do this again, I'm glad I did learn the right way to express. Now, all mother's I talk to in the future will know it's not like milking a cow at all. There is a right way and a wrong way.
Two, maybe three, weeks ago I was ranting about how Mississippians can't drive in this winter weather. Mississippi isn't known for having "Northern" weather. Lately, we have had some very interesting winter weather. Weather that, any Mississippian would agree, is usually seen north of us, very north of us. Thus, the state only has a handful of salt trucks. We just aren't used to this weather.
Last week the winter fairy hit us, yet again. This time, it was really bad. DH calls me, as I'm leaving my last class for the week and tells me that I may not be able to make it home?
"Why?" I asked, suddenly panicked, thinking about my breastfed baby and how I'm going to survive the night if I'm stuck.
"The police are shutting down all the bridges. A cop has already been hit."
Unfortunately, the city we live in is only accessed by bridges. I'm sure I could probably find another way, but that would involve going way north or way south, entering Alabama and trying to avoid any bridge. However, being surrounded by many bodies of water, I'm sure that is also out of the question. So I'm panicking, pissed at the school for not letting us go early and frantic at how I am going to pump without a pump.
I called my lactation consultant. She is such a lifesaver, and though I was calm as can be, I'm sure she could sense my panic. I asked her if the local hospital had a pump I could rent or one there that I could use. I don't believe our hospital is very baby friendly, but surely they would have something I could use in case of an emergency.
"You have to call them to make sure they have one available. And if they do, you probably will have to purchase a kit."
That had registered at some point, but what didn't register is whether they would have one available or not. They are a hospital after all, wouldn't, or shouldn't, they have pumps available, or even a pump that can be used in the hospital with a purchased kit? So now I'm panicking again. Can my night get any worse?
Luckily, I was able to make it home. It took me anywhere between two to three hours, a trip that normally takes me about 30-45 minutes. I think I've ranted about something that has nothing to do with the title of this post...hmmm...
So what am I to admit that I am wrong about, this time? I'm not wrong often, at least I don't try to be.
"If you can't get to the hospital, or if they don't have a pump for you to use, you may have to manually express. Do you know how to do that?"
This was my lactation consultant, keeping me grounded in case I was to get stuck. Sure, I know how to manually express. Doesn't everybody? Well, no. If you haven't done it than you don't know what to do, or so the consensus is. So today, not even a week after this terrible storm came through, I forgot my pump. The one thing I absolutely need while at school. Sure, I need a pencil, some paper and a textbook, but I can borrow these things and or share with a classmate. I cannot do this with a pump. So what is a breastfeeder to do?
It was easier to go to the smaller lactation room on campus by this point. I was either going to waste the milk into a paper towel or put it into something, but I had no clue what. Well, I had a water bottle. I poured the rest of the water out, sat down and opened up shop. It's okay, I had done this once before. Maybe I wasn't fully prepared then. I didn't get very much milk then, but maybe this time would be different. I had an hour, well, 45 minutes really, before I needed to leave to get to my class. I could do this.
And then the pain starts. My wrists began to hurt, and squeezing your breasts tend to put your wrists at an awkward angle. Yes, I said breasts. Problem number one. I kept trying to express, but then my breasts started to hurt and ache. They were full, so I knew I needed to express before I became engorged, but I was only getting a drop or two. There was no let down happening! So what's a mommy to do? Before I answer that, I have to essentially show you what it was I thought was the correct way. Someone had told me that it's like milking a cow. Well, I don't know if they have ever milked a cow, but surely there had to be more of an explanation. After all, I grew up in the military and graduated high school from a retirement town. Though, it was a farming town, I never did see what it was like to milk a cow.
I've often told other women along my breastfeeding journey to do the same thing. And I've done this, how I thought it was supposed to be done. Manually expressing me, not a cow. There was so much pain. I thought this is what it would feel like to have a mammogram based on my mother's own experiences. It was so painful and I couldn't stand it. I told my self I would never do it again, I knew how and that was enough. I won't ever forget my pump so I don't need to ever worry about it again.
This is what I did to my entire breast! Well, not so fast, but it's what I was doing. So painful!!! I would start from my chest and move all the way down to my nipple, while grasping firmly and causing immense pain. Not even my pump causes that much pain! I had less than an hour left before class, let down hasn't happened and I'm almost in tears because my wrists hurts as well as my breasts. What is a breastfeeder to do? I did the only logical thing I could think of. I went to YouTube and searched for manually expressing breastmilk. Would YouTube allow that to be on? Thankfully, yes!
I'm searching, waiting for a video to come up and waiting for the pain to go away. Surely there was a much easier, less painful way to express a couple ounces from each side. And there was! Let me introduce you to the marmet technique! Why didn't I ever take a breastfeeding class? This would have been so helpful to know before all the pain I put myself through! Not to mention it was super easy and my wrists didn't hurt as bad. Actually, the pain was very dull. Though I don't want to ever have to do this again, I'm glad I did learn the right way to express. Now, all mother's I talk to in the future will know it's not like milking a cow at all. There is a right way and a wrong way.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
How did you learn to breastfeed?
How did you learn to breastfeed? Did you have a lactation consultant or maybe you knew someone from La Leche League? Maybe you know someone who was nursing at the time and she let you watch so you could learn for yourself how to breastfeed when the time came. No matter how you learned to breastfeed, we have all had our stories where it may have not been very successful in the beginning.
I'm not going to say that everyone has a problem in the beginning. In fact, if I were to teach a class based on experiences and asked, "for those who have breastfed, did you have a perfect latch in the beginning," I would be surprised to see even one hand raised. Now that's not to say there isn't 1:20 moms who have a perfect experience from the beginning. And if I ever find you I may send you the evil eye but I honestly mean well.
I wasn't so lucky in the beginning. That's not to say it was a bad experience, but I think I made it a bad experience for myself. I had one friend who breastfed her three boys, but I hadn't watched her. I found that awkward, except now I've become so brave I use the Mississippi laws to my advantage and will NIP, hand a "thank you for breastfeeding" card to any mama I see bonding with her little one, and have even joined La Leche League.
I wasn't sure about breastfeeding in the beginning. I wasn't breastfed, but that's not to say my mother didn't try. In fact, she tried very hard. So hard to the point both my brother and I, we're 11.5 months apart, nearly starved to death. My mother refused to feed us formula because it was too expensive, but we refused her milk. Strange that her milk tasted bad both times, but she was also a military wife and in the 80's there just wasn't enough help.
Yes, La Leche League was created in the 50s and was really taking on a lot by the 80s, but there were still so many mamas who weren't getting any help for whatever reasons. And let's not forget the fake lactation consultants in the 80s. These women sounded like they knew what they were talking about, so the hospital administration didn't have any idea if they were actually telling the truth or were just looking for jobs to make the time go by and make money. These women were such a huge discredit to the battle on breastfeeding.
Back to my point, I hadn't gone in search for help. I didn't know if I wanted to breastfeed and I didn't know how it would impact me. I was unsure of the whole process, and I was like many mothers who were and still are uneducated on the whole idea. I thought formula was just as good because they say they are. Now I love to blurt out, "I give my baby enzymes my body has naturally made. Let's see your product do that!"
So in the beginning, my husband's cousin, a member of La Leche League, came to watch me breastfeed on our first day home. I didn't mind, was a little nervous, but didn't mind. It seemed to be going really great. Well, my supply hadn't come in and we were going to see the pediatrician the next day. He told me it was okay, give my son an ounce of formula and breastfeed from both sides afterwards to stimulate my supply and say, "Woohoo!!! It's time for you girls to do your thing! Come one now!!!" Well, he didn't say that last part, but I was so tempted to yell at them. They just weren't doing what I thought they would be doing. He also said I would know when my supply came in because my breasts would get really large and lumpy and I would feel the milk coming out my nipples.
Isn't breastfeeding natural? Doesn't it just happen? I guess I watched Return to the Blue Lagoon, or maybe it was the first one, one to many times. You know the one, they have a baby, the three day old baby (that really looks like she is about six months old) is crying like crazy and she won't eat anything they're giving her and she just so happens to start lowering the baby and the baby naturally latches on. Yes, that's how it's supposed to happen, just like that. Don't we all wish.
Babies know how to latch when they're born, so says Ameda, but it is the uneducated mother who may foul things up. I kept looking at the little slip of paper from the WIC nutritionist with two lactation consultant's names on it, but I am so hard headed I wanted to do it all on my own. Day five brought me to tears when I still didn't have anything and we were still supplementing with formula. And we wanted to sleep, so what did we do? We bought the night-time formula. Hubby and I both agreed to feed our son more than an ounce because he seemed so unhappy and he was crying all the time to eat. This was also due to the doctor telling us he only needs to eat every 2-3 hours and our newborn was crying about every hour to an hour and a half.
Yes, we starved our son because we thought that's what we were supposed to do. "Don't feed him any less than two hours or you'll have a cluster feeder that will rule your house and sleep schedule," said the other pediatrician. He was the son to the first pediatrician. They were great for the most part, but very Rx happy and pro-formula, not to mention the first time we saw the father, he was literally tossing my son around like they were performing a circus act; going from one hand to the other, back and forth, tummy up tummy down. I wanted to scream but I couldn't find my voice. My husband just laughed when the pediatrician left the room and said something about that was his job and he was just testing the our son's awareness and certain reflexes. I figured he would know, he has a brother 8 years younger then him, a sister 12 years younger then him and another sister 23 years younger then him. So he's seen plenty, I was sure of it.
Anyway, I finally called a lactation consultant on the sixth day. I told her everything that was going on, what I wasn't saying was I wanted her to come over and see why my milk hadn't come in. She asked about my latch and I told her. I told her what the pediatrician said and I don't think she disagreed. After all, a baby's survival in those first few days is vital. It's not the end of the world if you can't breastfeed, but I wanted to know that I was actually giving it my all. A living, thriving baby was more important to me than anything else, as is with the majority of the world.
I don't say the entire world because there is a culture in Pakistan that praises boys and not girls. A woman gave birth to twins, one boy and one girl The article said she was given the wrong information and wouldn't be able to feed both her children. One of my anthropology teachers showed me in a textbook how that culture praised boys and felt that the girl would have to die because she isn't important enough.
Back to my point, so I decided to do more research. My lactation consultant said I was doing everything right and that I just needed to be patient. I was worried at that point. Everything sounded like I was doing it right, but if I was why hadn't my milk come in yet? Google was my best-friend, well, when I could find the time. I did, after all, have a newborn that needed me every waking minute.
Youtube was fantastic. Did you know there are videos on youtube that instruct women how to latch and breastfeed properly? Some are by companies, I found one by a pediatrician, a baby-boomer pediatrician (weren't they all formula fed?) and some were done by mothers who wanted to reach out to other mothers. That is what this post is all about, to reach out to other mothers. I wanted to tell my story and show you how I learned. This is one of many ways, but I still insist on a mother meeting with an IBCLC and or a La Leche League leader. Hope you all enjoy!
I'm not going to say that everyone has a problem in the beginning. In fact, if I were to teach a class based on experiences and asked, "for those who have breastfed, did you have a perfect latch in the beginning," I would be surprised to see even one hand raised. Now that's not to say there isn't 1:20 moms who have a perfect experience from the beginning. And if I ever find you I may send you the evil eye but I honestly mean well.
I wasn't so lucky in the beginning. That's not to say it was a bad experience, but I think I made it a bad experience for myself. I had one friend who breastfed her three boys, but I hadn't watched her. I found that awkward, except now I've become so brave I use the Mississippi laws to my advantage and will NIP, hand a "thank you for breastfeeding" card to any mama I see bonding with her little one, and have even joined La Leche League.
I wasn't sure about breastfeeding in the beginning. I wasn't breastfed, but that's not to say my mother didn't try. In fact, she tried very hard. So hard to the point both my brother and I, we're 11.5 months apart, nearly starved to death. My mother refused to feed us formula because it was too expensive, but we refused her milk. Strange that her milk tasted bad both times, but she was also a military wife and in the 80's there just wasn't enough help.
Yes, La Leche League was created in the 50s and was really taking on a lot by the 80s, but there were still so many mamas who weren't getting any help for whatever reasons. And let's not forget the fake lactation consultants in the 80s. These women sounded like they knew what they were talking about, so the hospital administration didn't have any idea if they were actually telling the truth or were just looking for jobs to make the time go by and make money. These women were such a huge discredit to the battle on breastfeeding.
Back to my point, I hadn't gone in search for help. I didn't know if I wanted to breastfeed and I didn't know how it would impact me. I was unsure of the whole process, and I was like many mothers who were and still are uneducated on the whole idea. I thought formula was just as good because they say they are. Now I love to blurt out, "I give my baby enzymes my body has naturally made. Let's see your product do that!"
So in the beginning, my husband's cousin, a member of La Leche League, came to watch me breastfeed on our first day home. I didn't mind, was a little nervous, but didn't mind. It seemed to be going really great. Well, my supply hadn't come in and we were going to see the pediatrician the next day. He told me it was okay, give my son an ounce of formula and breastfeed from both sides afterwards to stimulate my supply and say, "Woohoo!!! It's time for you girls to do your thing! Come one now!!!" Well, he didn't say that last part, but I was so tempted to yell at them. They just weren't doing what I thought they would be doing. He also said I would know when my supply came in because my breasts would get really large and lumpy and I would feel the milk coming out my nipples.
Isn't breastfeeding natural? Doesn't it just happen? I guess I watched Return to the Blue Lagoon, or maybe it was the first one, one to many times. You know the one, they have a baby, the three day old baby (that really looks like she is about six months old) is crying like crazy and she won't eat anything they're giving her and she just so happens to start lowering the baby and the baby naturally latches on. Yes, that's how it's supposed to happen, just like that. Don't we all wish.
Babies know how to latch when they're born, so says Ameda, but it is the uneducated mother who may foul things up. I kept looking at the little slip of paper from the WIC nutritionist with two lactation consultant's names on it, but I am so hard headed I wanted to do it all on my own. Day five brought me to tears when I still didn't have anything and we were still supplementing with formula. And we wanted to sleep, so what did we do? We bought the night-time formula. Hubby and I both agreed to feed our son more than an ounce because he seemed so unhappy and he was crying all the time to eat. This was also due to the doctor telling us he only needs to eat every 2-3 hours and our newborn was crying about every hour to an hour and a half.
Yes, we starved our son because we thought that's what we were supposed to do. "Don't feed him any less than two hours or you'll have a cluster feeder that will rule your house and sleep schedule," said the other pediatrician. He was the son to the first pediatrician. They were great for the most part, but very Rx happy and pro-formula, not to mention the first time we saw the father, he was literally tossing my son around like they were performing a circus act; going from one hand to the other, back and forth, tummy up tummy down. I wanted to scream but I couldn't find my voice. My husband just laughed when the pediatrician left the room and said something about that was his job and he was just testing the our son's awareness and certain reflexes. I figured he would know, he has a brother 8 years younger then him, a sister 12 years younger then him and another sister 23 years younger then him. So he's seen plenty, I was sure of it.
Anyway, I finally called a lactation consultant on the sixth day. I told her everything that was going on, what I wasn't saying was I wanted her to come over and see why my milk hadn't come in. She asked about my latch and I told her. I told her what the pediatrician said and I don't think she disagreed. After all, a baby's survival in those first few days is vital. It's not the end of the world if you can't breastfeed, but I wanted to know that I was actually giving it my all. A living, thriving baby was more important to me than anything else, as is with the majority of the world.
I don't say the entire world because there is a culture in Pakistan that praises boys and not girls. A woman gave birth to twins, one boy and one girl The article said she was given the wrong information and wouldn't be able to feed both her children. One of my anthropology teachers showed me in a textbook how that culture praised boys and felt that the girl would have to die because she isn't important enough.
Back to my point, so I decided to do more research. My lactation consultant said I was doing everything right and that I just needed to be patient. I was worried at that point. Everything sounded like I was doing it right, but if I was why hadn't my milk come in yet? Google was my best-friend, well, when I could find the time. I did, after all, have a newborn that needed me every waking minute.
Youtube was fantastic. Did you know there are videos on youtube that instruct women how to latch and breastfeed properly? Some are by companies, I found one by a pediatrician, a baby-boomer pediatrician (weren't they all formula fed?) and some were done by mothers who wanted to reach out to other mothers. That is what this post is all about, to reach out to other mothers. I wanted to tell my story and show you how I learned. This is one of many ways, but I still insist on a mother meeting with an IBCLC and or a La Leche League leader. Hope you all enjoy!
I wanted to show this one first because I love her so much! She's the reason I started to NIP!
Be prepared this video does cut in and out
She's a little scary but helpful
Teeth and trying to cover...hmmm
I hope these have all helped!!!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Breastmilk and the TSA
I've been advocating a lot lately on The Leaky B@@b. I'm loving the fact I can help so many moms with any potential problems or answer any questions that I am able to.
So one interesting question did come up what are the rules and regulations as far as traveling with your breast milk? Now years ago, especially when I was a child, such a question may have been seen as silly. Now, it's almost absurd to even know that such a question has to even be asked. Really? Why should it even be a problem or bother for TSA? I understand with national security in mind, some people may think the bags of great liquid nutrition could possibly pose a danger. Well, maybe if you're a conspiracy theorist a think everything white is potentially hazardous, but come on people. Really?
So with the question in mind I decided to start researching. Really, how hard could it be? Well, without the proper keywords you get several results, but none of them current. Finally, I found the right information
At http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/children/formula.shtm, there is some great information on how to travel with your bags of pumped milk. Did you know that breastmilk is treated with the same respect and security as liquid medications? This must have been changed rather recently since the latest stink TSA made over a mom who had recently traveled. She almost missed her flight because security wouldn't let her board with the one thing that makes a baby's tummy happy.
Next, did you know when going through security you will NOT be asked to test or taste your breastmilk? Can someone fill me in here, please? Was someone asked at one point to do this? How horrible is that? "oh, I don't believe that is what you say it is. I'm going to need you to taste it. It's standard procedure. You understand." However, be forewarned. Ifyou have more than 3oz in a bag/bottle, TSA will ask you to open the container and they will test your milk, thus making it unsanitary for your baby. This is to make sure that anything over 3oz isn't a potential danger.
"You are encouraged to travel with only as much formula, breast milk, or juice in your carry-on needed to reach your destination." So what happens in the event you are taking fenugreek or eat extra oatmeal or what have you? What's considered "only as much [as] needed to reach your destination?" Unfortunately, I'm unable to find any legit sites that make mention of traveling with a pump. By legit, I mean anything other than a blog.
So when traveling and pumping, refer to TSA's website on the matter, and remember: Anything over 3oz hag the possibility of being checked.
So one interesting question did come up what are the rules and regulations as far as traveling with your breast milk? Now years ago, especially when I was a child, such a question may have been seen as silly. Now, it's almost absurd to even know that such a question has to even be asked. Really? Why should it even be a problem or bother for TSA? I understand with national security in mind, some people may think the bags of great liquid nutrition could possibly pose a danger. Well, maybe if you're a conspiracy theorist a think everything white is potentially hazardous, but come on people. Really?
So with the question in mind I decided to start researching. Really, how hard could it be? Well, without the proper keywords you get several results, but none of them current. Finally, I found the right information
At http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/children/formula.shtm, there is some great information on how to travel with your bags of pumped milk. Did you know that breastmilk is treated with the same respect and security as liquid medications? This must have been changed rather recently since the latest stink TSA made over a mom who had recently traveled. She almost missed her flight because security wouldn't let her board with the one thing that makes a baby's tummy happy.
Next, did you know when going through security you will NOT be asked to test or taste your breastmilk? Can someone fill me in here, please? Was someone asked at one point to do this? How horrible is that? "oh, I don't believe that is what you say it is. I'm going to need you to taste it. It's standard procedure. You understand." However, be forewarned. Ifyou have more than 3oz in a bag/bottle, TSA will ask you to open the container and they will test your milk, thus making it unsanitary for your baby. This is to make sure that anything over 3oz isn't a potential danger.
"You are encouraged to travel with only as much formula, breast milk, or juice in your carry-on needed to reach your destination." So what happens in the event you are taking fenugreek or eat extra oatmeal or what have you? What's considered "only as much [as] needed to reach your destination?" Unfortunately, I'm unable to find any legit sites that make mention of traveling with a pump. By legit, I mean anything other than a blog.
So when traveling and pumping, refer to TSA's website on the matter, and remember: Anything over 3oz hag the possibility of being checked.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
I nearly lost my son due to my phone obsession
I am debating posting this, as I'm not sure how people will feel. Do you let the entire world know that you're a failure at being a mom, is this one of those times "it's happened to everyone. It'll be ok," or is it something every mom must go through, as her own type of milestone or right-of-passage? After reading what happened, when you see me you'll probably want to slap me. Milestone? Right-of-passage? Sure, and throw me into jail and lose the keys while you're at it.
There are some mistakes, accidents, incidents that can be accepted as human error. This, perhaps and in my opinion, is not one that can be. I have always been a firm believer in if you can't pay attention to what your child is doing than maybe you don't deserve to be a parent.
My father was a neat freak; Mr. Clean if you will. 30 years as a Marine and two of those as a Drill Instructor will do that to you. So why do I find it so hard to channel him, especially when it comes to the safety of my own son, my one and only child at this point?
Not too far apart, my brother and I had swallowed something, but I believe we both managed to spit it up. We were older toddlers at the time, I believe, as we were in Okinawa when it happened. One of us had an incident with a key ring and the other a quarter. So am I doomed to make the mistakes of my parents? Their examples are what we all learn from, everyones own parents respectively.
I hate to even say what I was doing, but maybe someone will learn from my mistake, and I'm sure others have done the same but I don't know of any.
I was playing on my phone, as usual. I am in the same room with my son, calling him, seeing what he is doing as he makes his way around the high chair, out of eyesight. For the past hour or two, I'm constantly taking paper out of his mouth. I just cleaned, but he found some paper somewhere.
This should have been my first clue to put down my phone and just take him to bed. It was already late. Do I? Of course not. Why would I do the most logical action? After I put him on his horse a couple of times I resume playing on my phone. There isn't anything else he could possibly put in his mouth, is there?
I hear him choking, I call to him and I look up. He is so red from coughing. I do what I have always done when he starts choking: I kneel down, his legs are on either side of one arm, that hand is holding his shoulder while the other hand is smacking his upper back. I roll him into my other arm and stick my finger into his mouth. NOTHING!!! he's still choking, turning a deep shade of red, purple then blue. I roll him back over and start smacking at his back again. Mommy-mode is gone. Lifeguard-mode is currently responding.
He starts to spit up, good, but he's still turning blue. I check his throat again. STILL NOTHING!!! I smack him again. He starts to spit up more this time. I continue to smack his back as he spits up. Surely whatever it is will come up with everything else. He stops, looks at me as I check him, coughs twice and is fine. My phone was in my hand, ready to call 911, but I was just as ready to run to our local fire-station less than a quarter of a mile from us. He was fine. No crying, just stunned a little.
I called my husband and told him to come home immediately. It's layout night, he's at the office until 4 am. I looked on the floor for what made baby boy nearly choke to death. I don't see anything. My husband pulls up and baby boy is thrilled to see him. I check the floor and finally see the culprit. A PENNY!
I just swept up last night, maybe it was the night before. I straightened everything and made the place look good. There was no money on the floor. With the exception of the straws baby boy spilled and the tissue paper he pulled from a Christmas bag, my floor was spotless. So where did the penny come from?
Hubby stripped him and baby boy and I took a bath; we were both covered. Shock and shame finally hit me. How could I let this happen? How does a mother, new or not, allow her baby to be put in such a situation? Hubby had to calm me down.
Am I unfit at this point or is this one of those things we all learn from? We're all human, but should we be allowed to make such mistakes? It's already been planned for the tree to come down tomorrow. Hubby and I will be cleaning and making this place look like it should be in a magazine. Well, almost that good. We do have a baby that loves to create chaos.
I have to thank the American Red Cross for training me to be a lifeguard and Girl-scouts Heart of the South for paying for my training. Also to Nurse Manning, who I was thinking about as everything was happening. She is the instructor for the "new parents" classes at BMHGT. All I could picture in my mind at that moment is the CPR infant on our table and her instructions on how to smack and check. Lifeguard-mode may have been there, but Nurse Manning was all I could manifest at that point.
I won't say this was a human error. I wish this never happened. I posted this, not to say anything about my parenting as this is the first time he has ever made the attempt at swallowing change. There are no excuses for what happened and I don't intend to make any. I only hope that in my posting about this situation others will learn from my mistake. I won't hover over my son. I'm scared to death, just as any parent is, to losing my son. I know now that after cleaning I still need to get into baby-mode and make sure there isn't anything I may have missed. Baby boy is our little miracle baby.
There are some mistakes, accidents, incidents that can be accepted as human error. This, perhaps and in my opinion, is not one that can be. I have always been a firm believer in if you can't pay attention to what your child is doing than maybe you don't deserve to be a parent.
My father was a neat freak; Mr. Clean if you will. 30 years as a Marine and two of those as a Drill Instructor will do that to you. So why do I find it so hard to channel him, especially when it comes to the safety of my own son, my one and only child at this point?
Not too far apart, my brother and I had swallowed something, but I believe we both managed to spit it up. We were older toddlers at the time, I believe, as we were in Okinawa when it happened. One of us had an incident with a key ring and the other a quarter. So am I doomed to make the mistakes of my parents? Their examples are what we all learn from, everyones own parents respectively.
I hate to even say what I was doing, but maybe someone will learn from my mistake, and I'm sure others have done the same but I don't know of any.
I was playing on my phone, as usual. I am in the same room with my son, calling him, seeing what he is doing as he makes his way around the high chair, out of eyesight. For the past hour or two, I'm constantly taking paper out of his mouth. I just cleaned, but he found some paper somewhere.
This should have been my first clue to put down my phone and just take him to bed. It was already late. Do I? Of course not. Why would I do the most logical action? After I put him on his horse a couple of times I resume playing on my phone. There isn't anything else he could possibly put in his mouth, is there?
I hear him choking, I call to him and I look up. He is so red from coughing. I do what I have always done when he starts choking: I kneel down, his legs are on either side of one arm, that hand is holding his shoulder while the other hand is smacking his upper back. I roll him into my other arm and stick my finger into his mouth. NOTHING!!! he's still choking, turning a deep shade of red, purple then blue. I roll him back over and start smacking at his back again. Mommy-mode is gone. Lifeguard-mode is currently responding.
He starts to spit up, good, but he's still turning blue. I check his throat again. STILL NOTHING!!! I smack him again. He starts to spit up more this time. I continue to smack his back as he spits up. Surely whatever it is will come up with everything else. He stops, looks at me as I check him, coughs twice and is fine. My phone was in my hand, ready to call 911, but I was just as ready to run to our local fire-station less than a quarter of a mile from us. He was fine. No crying, just stunned a little.
I called my husband and told him to come home immediately. It's layout night, he's at the office until 4 am. I looked on the floor for what made baby boy nearly choke to death. I don't see anything. My husband pulls up and baby boy is thrilled to see him. I check the floor and finally see the culprit. A PENNY!
I just swept up last night, maybe it was the night before. I straightened everything and made the place look good. There was no money on the floor. With the exception of the straws baby boy spilled and the tissue paper he pulled from a Christmas bag, my floor was spotless. So where did the penny come from?
Hubby stripped him and baby boy and I took a bath; we were both covered. Shock and shame finally hit me. How could I let this happen? How does a mother, new or not, allow her baby to be put in such a situation? Hubby had to calm me down.
Am I unfit at this point or is this one of those things we all learn from? We're all human, but should we be allowed to make such mistakes? It's already been planned for the tree to come down tomorrow. Hubby and I will be cleaning and making this place look like it should be in a magazine. Well, almost that good. We do have a baby that loves to create chaos.
I have to thank the American Red Cross for training me to be a lifeguard and Girl-scouts Heart of the South for paying for my training. Also to Nurse Manning, who I was thinking about as everything was happening. She is the instructor for the "new parents" classes at BMHGT. All I could picture in my mind at that moment is the CPR infant on our table and her instructions on how to smack and check. Lifeguard-mode may have been there, but Nurse Manning was all I could manifest at that point.
I won't say this was a human error. I wish this never happened. I posted this, not to say anything about my parenting as this is the first time he has ever made the attempt at swallowing change. There are no excuses for what happened and I don't intend to make any. I only hope that in my posting about this situation others will learn from my mistake. I won't hover over my son. I'm scared to death, just as any parent is, to losing my son. I know now that after cleaning I still need to get into baby-mode and make sure there isn't anything I may have missed. Baby boy is our little miracle baby.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
American Baby Magazine Holiday Hitch
So if you follow me, or you don't follow me but read my blog, or you follow me on facebook, or maybe even twitter, you know how much I advocate about breastfeeeding. I am probably not far from being a breastfeeding extremist. I asked a woman one day if she breastfeeds her 3 month old. I just met this woman, and though I was composed about her response, I secretly had a little dialogue going on in my head, with her mind you, how I was trying to get her to reverse everything and go back to breastfeeding. Like I said, I am short of being a breastfeeding extremist. And I am proud of this fact. I can compose myself and talk very eloquently about how important it is to breastfeed and listen to all arguments, in front of others at least. Online, the gloves come off and I am ready to win a war!
Anyway, I received my new American Baby magazine for this month. Though I am not very happy with Parents Magazine, and now American Baby, I have indeed enjoyed their information on products and ways bathe your baby, or how to get them to interact to increase certain cognitive skills or whatever else may be helpful, outside of breastfeeding. So when I turned to page 72 of my November 2010 issue, I saw an article titled It's time to nurse. Again with an orange circle above it in white lettering saying Holiday Hitch. Ok, so my first thoughts were "well not everyone wants to see boob," followed by "they must mean church-goers who are out at their two-hour-long, sometimes even longer, Christmas program and the mom doesn't want to miss her other child(ren)'s big debut as whatever character in the churches production of the Nativity, but the baby is crying because they're hungry" or something along those lines.
Due to our own culture, women are left feeling shy, disrespectful or even immodest for feeding their baby publicly without some sort of cover. Now granted, for those that do feel this way, companies have been making loads from women who want to cover but still look stylish while doing it. I am trying to see this from a perspective outside of my own upbringing, but my own upbringing says, "the mother should have been prepared, and if she is out somewhere publicly than she should have brought something to cover herself with if she feels that uncomfortable about it and will just have to leave wherever she is and find a more private area." On the other-hand, my extremist side says, "there is nothing disrespectful, immodest or sexual about what you're doing. Feed your child whether you have a cover or not. If you hear several sharp intakes of breath, well they are obviously looking too hard at you and not paying attention to what is really going on." Now I'm all for covers. I wear a cover most of the time when I'm in public. If I don't have one, oh well. If you really want to stare that hard you can do it through the two black eyes my husband will be happy to give you, as we are usually together.
So, back to this article. I am very upset about it, and really, I shouldn't be so surprised about it coming from a magazine that advertises a lot of formula and not very much about breastfeeding. Going through the magazine, there is a mention of a benefit of breastfeeding and type 2 diabetes on the same page with a small section about sun subs, both are unrelated to each other. Another page shows a baby holding a large bottle, one of those the milk man drops off (do these guys still have a job), with an article talking about how you should get organic instead of regular cows milk. Oh, and there's a little mention to the other side of the baby saying "You can introduce cows milk once your tot is 12 months." Turn a few more pages and there's a full page ad for enfamil. A FULL PAGE AD!!! Yet a mention of the benefit of breastfeeding gets a small 2x3 (I'm guestamting here, not going to pull out my ruler) section. Turn a couple more pages, there's a full page, 5-step how-to on formula. Here's their "Safety First" guidelines:
Finally, we get to the article that has me upset.
I suppose though, I shouldn't expect much from a magazine that advertises mostly on formula. This is just about enough to keep me from renewing my subscription. This really angers me.
Anyway, I received my new American Baby magazine for this month. Though I am not very happy with Parents Magazine, and now American Baby, I have indeed enjoyed their information on products and ways bathe your baby, or how to get them to interact to increase certain cognitive skills or whatever else may be helpful, outside of breastfeeding. So when I turned to page 72 of my November 2010 issue, I saw an article titled It's time to nurse. Again with an orange circle above it in white lettering saying Holiday Hitch. Ok, so my first thoughts were "well not everyone wants to see boob," followed by "they must mean church-goers who are out at their two-hour-long, sometimes even longer, Christmas program and the mom doesn't want to miss her other child(ren)'s big debut as whatever character in the churches production of the Nativity, but the baby is crying because they're hungry" or something along those lines.
Due to our own culture, women are left feeling shy, disrespectful or even immodest for feeding their baby publicly without some sort of cover. Now granted, for those that do feel this way, companies have been making loads from women who want to cover but still look stylish while doing it. I am trying to see this from a perspective outside of my own upbringing, but my own upbringing says, "the mother should have been prepared, and if she is out somewhere publicly than she should have brought something to cover herself with if she feels that uncomfortable about it and will just have to leave wherever she is and find a more private area." On the other-hand, my extremist side says, "there is nothing disrespectful, immodest or sexual about what you're doing. Feed your child whether you have a cover or not. If you hear several sharp intakes of breath, well they are obviously looking too hard at you and not paying attention to what is really going on." Now I'm all for covers. I wear a cover most of the time when I'm in public. If I don't have one, oh well. If you really want to stare that hard you can do it through the two black eyes my husband will be happy to give you, as we are usually together.
So, back to this article. I am very upset about it, and really, I shouldn't be so surprised about it coming from a magazine that advertises a lot of formula and not very much about breastfeeding. Going through the magazine, there is a mention of a benefit of breastfeeding and type 2 diabetes on the same page with a small section about sun subs, both are unrelated to each other. Another page shows a baby holding a large bottle, one of those the milk man drops off (do these guys still have a job), with an article talking about how you should get organic instead of regular cows milk. Oh, and there's a little mention to the other side of the baby saying "You can introduce cows milk once your tot is 12 months." Turn a few more pages and there's a full page ad for enfamil. A FULL PAGE AD!!! Yet a mention of the benefit of breastfeeding gets a small 2x3 (I'm guestamting here, not going to pull out my ruler) section. Turn a couple more pages, there's a full page, 5-step how-to on formula. Here's their "Safety First" guidelines:
- To avoid getting dust or dirt in formula, wipe the top of the container with a damp paper towel before opening (something you do not need to really worry about if you're breastfeeding, unless of course you were playing or have a job where you did get dirty, than I suggest either taking a shower or cleaning your breasts and then feed your child)
- Don't use mineral water to prepare formula. It has high levels of salt and minerals that can harm your baby's kidneys (Something that can harm your baby...hmmm...and this is allowed as opposed to the breastmilk that is filled with all the right nutrients and antibodies, not to mention the most safest liquid a child can drink that will nourish them and help them grow without the fear of disease or infection, dependent upon your own health)
- Microwaving formula produces hot spots that can burn your baby's mouth. Never nuke! (Hmmm...breastmilk is already at the proper temperature, but if you are using a bag of frozen breastmilk, thaw it under some warm water and test the temperature before pouring into a bottle)
- Toss any formula remaining in the bottle after feeding. It contains bacteria from baby's mouth and can make him sick (You won't have this problem with breastfeeding, and as far as bottle-feeding your pumped milk I'm not sure as I've rarely done it)
Finally, we get to the article that has me upset.
At home you may happily breastfeed au naturel, but during holiday visits a blanket will help you avoid unwanted comments and Aunt Margaret's raised eyebrows. "Bring a couple of elegant pashminas to up with," says Leslie Tucker, of Leesburg, Virginia. Lilliam Kim used to feel lonely when her hungry 2-month-old kept the two of them confined to the bedroom for feedings. Then she found a way to avoid feeling left out of the fun: "When I had to nurse I'd grab a relative to join me," she says. "I had a lot of significant conversations, which don't always happen at the dinner table, where everyone's grabbing at once."So yes, this is good sound advice, but what if this is your home people are coming into or if you do not or cannot use a cover maybe because your baby doesn't like to use a cover. Where is the information in the article that should tell a breastfeeding mother how she can say something to her family that her baby doesn't want to be covered or that she doesn't want to miss out on the great time they will all have if they banish her to another room to feed her baby. How about telling a breastfeeding mom how she can turn a chair and breastfeed her baby without anyone seeing anything, or that there are nursing tops that helps keep showing your breast to a minimal.
I suppose though, I shouldn't expect much from a magazine that advertises mostly on formula. This is just about enough to keep me from renewing my subscription. This really angers me.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
My opinion on Playtex® Drop-Ins® bottles
So I wanted to point something out. I find this very interesting how companies that are all about babies will exploit every angle they can in order to get you to buy their product. Take Playtex® for example. Their Drop-Ins® bottles are being marketed as the next best thing to the breast. Granted, William has been on a bottle a couple times a day when I'm gone, but I know what he's getting. I have pumped milk, I give him freshly squeezed juice and on occasion he'll get water.
Now I would really love to give him a bottle that promises: Clinically shown to mimic breastfeeding; Liner collapses like the breast for an air-free feeding; Nipple promotes latch-on like the breast; Clinically proven to reduce gas, colic, and spit-up. It is implied, I suppose in all their jargon, that you will use this bottle with pumped milk.
Now, we have all seen this on cans of formula. Formula companies say they have the next best thing to breastmilk for those who can't or won't breastfeed, including their promise that their product has been proven to reduce gas, colic, and spit-up. Sound familiar? It pains me that companies will do this. And especially to formula-fed families. Formula hurts a baby's tummy anyway and they will have all these problems regardless. Funny how they won't post this information, but they'll state how they're product will make your baby feel so good.
Now I would really love to give him a bottle that promises: Clinically shown to mimic breastfeeding; Liner collapses like the breast for an air-free feeding; Nipple promotes latch-on like the breast; Clinically proven to reduce gas, colic, and spit-up. It is implied, I suppose in all their jargon, that you will use this bottle with pumped milk.
Now, we have all seen this on cans of formula. Formula companies say they have the next best thing to breastmilk for those who can't or won't breastfeed, including their promise that their product has been proven to reduce gas, colic, and spit-up. Sound familiar? It pains me that companies will do this. And especially to formula-fed families. Formula hurts a baby's tummy anyway and they will have all these problems regardless. Funny how they won't post this information, but they'll state how they're product will make your baby feel so good.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Let's talk low milk supply
I want to talk about this a little bit. This has been a question going around with a few of us twitter moms trying to answer. I've mostly been lurking reading some of the answers as I am a first time mom that hasn't had this problem, but had I given up in the beginning, I suspect it would have been a problem. All breastfeeding moms know that feeling when they are lactating, you can feel your nipple to begin to tingle and eventually a drip starts, or in some cases a stream and in some more cases you just spray. I almost feels embarrassing, and did I ever feel embarrassed, but I grew comfortable to this because I knew my supply finally came in.
So do you feel the colostrum as your baby is suckling? This has been a question that has plagued me for the longest. I’ve wondered if I ever did have any or did the continues suckling contribute to only encourage my milk supply to come in?
Everything is so scary when you are a new mom, and I know I had so many questions running through my mind and I'm sure the doctors were aggravated, but they were happy to answer, if only it would get me to shut up. Only a few days old, I had a load of new questions, one of them being what was going on in my baby's diaper? There were orange crystals in his diaper, which I thought was blood. I quickly called my mother-in-law, woke her up and asked her frantically what was wrong. She laughed and said it was normal, but it probably wouldn't hurt to take my son to the pediatrician. So I made a sick baby appointment that very next morning.
I was devastated by what the doctor told me. "The crystals mean your son is dehydrated." I was so ashamed. How could I let this happen to my son? I am his mother. I gave birth to him, I've been feeding him, what's going on? At this point, I thought I was breastfeeding fine, although I had no education in the subject whatsoever, I thought I was doing my job: putting my son to my breast and letting him do all of the work. So what was going on?
"Your milk supply hasn't fully come in yet and it's possible he isn't getting enough." The words every first time mom dreads to hear. I wasn't sure about breastfeeding up to this point, but I am a very competitive person and someone telling me I'm not giving enough is like a challenge. I'm not going to stop because my body is having issues. I will fix the problem!
"For the next week or until you feel you have your supply, and you'll know it when it happens (and boy did I know it), you need to give your son one ounce of formula every two hours than attach him to your breast so he can help manipulate your supply." I was in tears. I thought by being a nursing mother this meant no formula, though up to that point I really thought formula would be okay. We went home and started the process of supplementing. That was the hardest week we had ever lived through. Both my husband and I really wanted to sleep, but we also had this baby that needed our help.
After that week my supply had come in and I was grateful for not having to deal with nipple confusion. I don't know if it's because of the nipples we used or the continuous work of going straight to each breast for 15 minutes after the bottle helped. We were glad to be done with the formula though, it was causing our son to have a lot of gastro issues, which turns out is all babies. Formula is so thick and not easily digestible.
Have you ever been in a situation like mine? Has yours ever been worse? Did you have a support team or were you on your own?
I will tell you the story of someone I know. We were friends for only a short time, but her story is what encouraged me to really push breastfeeding, get the info out there and encourage having that support group. She was a first time mom and had a live in boyfriend, who of course was the father. They didn't have the support they expected, but they did get by with what information they found. They went through the typical first time parent classes, read the books and whatever literature they found to help them through the pregnancy and beyond. After only a few minor complications they gave birth to a beautiful little boy. Everything was fine as far as they knew, but being first time parents means you may not always have a clue about what's happening; especially without a support group to tell you what each little cry means.
It was hard for her in the beginning, but she made it through, until one day when they noticed he wasn't crying like most newborns do. Everything seemed a little off at that point. Her son seemed very lethargic, she couldn't even wake him up. They rushed him to the childrens hospital in Birmingham, the hospital where I'm pretty sure even Mississippi children go to, depending on the circumstances, but don't quote me on that. That is only something I have heard time and again. The baby survived almost another week, but the damage had been done.
She had felt a failure, feeling it was all her fault, feeling that she should have noticed something was wrong long before it had become that bad. When they told me what happened I wasn't sure what to say. How does a baby die of dehydration when we are created in a way to sustain life? She fell into a deep depression afterwards, believing her son's death was all her fault.
Now I don't know what all the circumstances were that led to his death, but after explaining to the pediatricians what had happened and my fear that the same would happen to my son since he was a little dehydrated, I wanted to know how it would end, but it became very clear to me when I remembered the last two weeks of my father's life before he passed away.
"The kidney's are the first to go." It rang through my head, echoing. I remember my father's oncologist explaining to me what was happening. "He is dehydrated and his kidneys are not where they should be because of the cancer. They have hit their end stage."
When the pediatrician explained to me how a baby's body relies on the proper nutrition of breastmilk or formula, it dawned on me. That's how it happened. She didn't really know how much a baby should eat in a day, or how many wet diapers she should have in a day. She didn't have anyone there to tell her what was going on.
This is why I push having a proper support group, surrounding yourself with people who have experienced it all, or most of it, or even becoming educated in everything there is to know. Now that last part may be a bit much, but I think you understand what I mean. My hope is, that even if you struggled the first time, I encourage you to try. Search for a lactation consultant, talk to a doctor and see if medication is needed to increase your supply. Get in touch with a La Leche League leader and surround yourself with women who can help, who understand and can help you through the process.
I'm not sure what else to really say here, and I hope that I have helped people realize how important it is to not be alone when it comes to new adventures in your life, especially when it comes to a new life.
Some links to keep in mind when dealing with low milk supply:
http://www.bestforbabes.org/
http://worldbreastfeedingweek.org/
http://www.fitpregnancy.com/yournewlife/breastfeeding/Low-Milk-Supply-89434367.html?page=1
http://www.mobimotherhood.org/MM/article-lms.aspx
http://www.lowmilksupply.org/
www.sc.edu/healthycarolina/pdf/lsp/ChallengesandStrategies.pdf
http://depts.washington.edu/growing/Nourish/Brfeed.htm
http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/tips-and-solutions/46/low-milk-supply
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/low-supply.html
So do you feel the colostrum as your baby is suckling? This has been a question that has plagued me for the longest. I’ve wondered if I ever did have any or did the continues suckling contribute to only encourage my milk supply to come in?
Everything is so scary when you are a new mom, and I know I had so many questions running through my mind and I'm sure the doctors were aggravated, but they were happy to answer, if only it would get me to shut up. Only a few days old, I had a load of new questions, one of them being what was going on in my baby's diaper? There were orange crystals in his diaper, which I thought was blood. I quickly called my mother-in-law, woke her up and asked her frantically what was wrong. She laughed and said it was normal, but it probably wouldn't hurt to take my son to the pediatrician. So I made a sick baby appointment that very next morning.
I was devastated by what the doctor told me. "The crystals mean your son is dehydrated." I was so ashamed. How could I let this happen to my son? I am his mother. I gave birth to him, I've been feeding him, what's going on? At this point, I thought I was breastfeeding fine, although I had no education in the subject whatsoever, I thought I was doing my job: putting my son to my breast and letting him do all of the work. So what was going on?
"Your milk supply hasn't fully come in yet and it's possible he isn't getting enough." The words every first time mom dreads to hear. I wasn't sure about breastfeeding up to this point, but I am a very competitive person and someone telling me I'm not giving enough is like a challenge. I'm not going to stop because my body is having issues. I will fix the problem!
"For the next week or until you feel you have your supply, and you'll know it when it happens (and boy did I know it), you need to give your son one ounce of formula every two hours than attach him to your breast so he can help manipulate your supply." I was in tears. I thought by being a nursing mother this meant no formula, though up to that point I really thought formula would be okay. We went home and started the process of supplementing. That was the hardest week we had ever lived through. Both my husband and I really wanted to sleep, but we also had this baby that needed our help.
After that week my supply had come in and I was grateful for not having to deal with nipple confusion. I don't know if it's because of the nipples we used or the continuous work of going straight to each breast for 15 minutes after the bottle helped. We were glad to be done with the formula though, it was causing our son to have a lot of gastro issues, which turns out is all babies. Formula is so thick and not easily digestible.
Have you ever been in a situation like mine? Has yours ever been worse? Did you have a support team or were you on your own?
I will tell you the story of someone I know. We were friends for only a short time, but her story is what encouraged me to really push breastfeeding, get the info out there and encourage having that support group. She was a first time mom and had a live in boyfriend, who of course was the father. They didn't have the support they expected, but they did get by with what information they found. They went through the typical first time parent classes, read the books and whatever literature they found to help them through the pregnancy and beyond. After only a few minor complications they gave birth to a beautiful little boy. Everything was fine as far as they knew, but being first time parents means you may not always have a clue about what's happening; especially without a support group to tell you what each little cry means.
It was hard for her in the beginning, but she made it through, until one day when they noticed he wasn't crying like most newborns do. Everything seemed a little off at that point. Her son seemed very lethargic, she couldn't even wake him up. They rushed him to the childrens hospital in Birmingham, the hospital where I'm pretty sure even Mississippi children go to, depending on the circumstances, but don't quote me on that. That is only something I have heard time and again. The baby survived almost another week, but the damage had been done.
She had felt a failure, feeling it was all her fault, feeling that she should have noticed something was wrong long before it had become that bad. When they told me what happened I wasn't sure what to say. How does a baby die of dehydration when we are created in a way to sustain life? She fell into a deep depression afterwards, believing her son's death was all her fault.
Now I don't know what all the circumstances were that led to his death, but after explaining to the pediatricians what had happened and my fear that the same would happen to my son since he was a little dehydrated, I wanted to know how it would end, but it became very clear to me when I remembered the last two weeks of my father's life before he passed away.
"The kidney's are the first to go." It rang through my head, echoing. I remember my father's oncologist explaining to me what was happening. "He is dehydrated and his kidneys are not where they should be because of the cancer. They have hit their end stage."
When the pediatrician explained to me how a baby's body relies on the proper nutrition of breastmilk or formula, it dawned on me. That's how it happened. She didn't really know how much a baby should eat in a day, or how many wet diapers she should have in a day. She didn't have anyone there to tell her what was going on.
This is why I push having a proper support group, surrounding yourself with people who have experienced it all, or most of it, or even becoming educated in everything there is to know. Now that last part may be a bit much, but I think you understand what I mean. My hope is, that even if you struggled the first time, I encourage you to try. Search for a lactation consultant, talk to a doctor and see if medication is needed to increase your supply. Get in touch with a La Leche League leader and surround yourself with women who can help, who understand and can help you through the process.
I'm not sure what else to really say here, and I hope that I have helped people realize how important it is to not be alone when it comes to new adventures in your life, especially when it comes to a new life.
Some links to keep in mind when dealing with low milk supply:
http://www.bestforbabes.org/
http://worldbreastfeedingweek.org/
http://www.fitpregnancy.com/yournewlife/breastfeeding/Low-Milk-Supply-89434367.html?page=1
http://www.mobimotherhood.org/MM/article-lms.aspx
http://www.lowmilksupply.org/
www.sc.edu/healthycarolina/pdf/lsp/ChallengesandStrategies.pdf
http://depts.washington.edu/growing/Nourish/Brfeed.htm
http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/tips-and-solutions/46/low-milk-supply
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/low-supply.html
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Breastfeeding is creepy...are you serious...
I tried to find the full article, but either it's been taken down or you can only view it in the UK Mother & Baby magazine. I, as many mothers are, am completely outraged by an article written by a senior editor for this magazine. Since I can't find the article, I will put the link to the full article from the guardian and my personal opinions after it:
I get it, everyone is entitle to their opinion, but when you are the deputy director of a parents magazine, you have to keep some of your opinions to yourself, unlike Kathryn Blundell. Not only has she upset breastfeeding mothers, but even mothers who formula feed feel upset by what she has said.
First of all, breastfeeding is not "creepy" by any means. It is the way mothers choose to feed their babies, some try it for a little while and others will nurse until their nursling self-weens. Breastfeeding and giving baby pumped milk immediately after a mother is finished pumping is the only way for a baby to get all the proper nutrients and the antibodies they need in order to thrive and have an easier time fighting off practically any illness. Breastfed babies have less stomach upsets, ear infections and can digest breastmilk easier than formula.
Second, "I wanted my body back. (And some wine)… I also wanted to give my boobs at least a chance to stay on my chest rather than dangling around my stomach." For those who don't know, when you breastfeed, you can easily return to your pre-pregnancy weight. According to Nutrition Data I burn 3240.0 kcal/day from my daily routine, including breastfeeding. If I weren't breastfeeding, I would only burn 2840 kcal/day with my current lifestyle. By the way, my current lifestyle includes walking 30-60 minutes at least three time a week, using my WiiFit three times a week doing mostly yoga and housework. And about the comment she makes about her boobs, well that is just ridiculous. Pregnancy, poor posture and a bad bra. When you're pregnant, your ligaments and tendons relax and loosen to the point that your boobs will sag on their own.
According to Brian Rinker, MD, an assistant professor of plastic surgery at the University of Kentucky Medical Center, in Lexington, he heard so many patients blame sagging breasts on breastfeeding that, to see if there really is a connection, he surveyed 132 moms who had sought him out for breast lifts or augmentation. Turns out that age, smoking, being overweight pre-pregnancy, and large breast size, not to mention pregnancy itself (which increases breast size), are all associated with a greater likelihood of sagging. But, surprisingly, breastfeeding is not. "The bottom line is that breastfeeding doesn't have an impact," Dr. Rinker says.
Here is what she feels is creepy: "They're part of my sexuality, too – not just breasts, but fun bags. And when you have that attitude (and I admit I made no attempt to change it), seeing your teeny, tiny, innocent baby latching on where only a lover has been before feels, well, a little creepy." Like I've said, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but this just demoralizes women. We are made to help create life and to nurture that life. The best way to nurture that new life is to feed from your breast milk that is full of antibodies and vitamins that help protect the new life we have created.
Did this lady happen to think about what we're trying to accomplish in other countries? We want to push breastfeeding awareness because there are some countries that do not have the safest water, and giving formula mixed with bad/unsafe water to a baby is not safe at all. Do babies not have a right to the best possible future? And if she couldn't handle a "teeny, tiny, innocent baby latching on where only a lover has been before" than why not pump? Pumping is there to help women who work, go out for a period of time or who have trouble getting their newborn to latch on. Was pumping not an option for this woman?
And her comment on the studies not being enough of a concern for her to want "to stick [her] nipple in a bawling baby's mouth" is unbelievable. I'm helping to lower my risk of breast cancer, but more importantly I am helping to lessen the stomach upsets my baby would get had I fed him formula. By the way, I did do partial formula in the beginning because I wasn't sure about breastfeeding and I wanted him to be full longer. After about a week I began to exclusively breastfeed because the formula was causing a lot of problems. I pumped after the daytime feedings and had enough milk over night that my husband could feed our son so I could also get some sleep.
She continues: "I don't think I'm the only one, either – only 52% of mums still breastfeed after six weeks. Ask most of the quitters why they stopped and you'll hear tales of agonising three-hour feeding sessions and – the drama! – bloody nipples. But I often wonder whether many of these women, like me, just couldn't be fagged or felt like getting tipsy once in a while."
Ok, I'm not sure who has ever had a three hour nursing session before. The most I have had is thirty to forty-five minutes each side, but that was when William was younger than three months. Now, that's not to say someone hasn't gone through a three hour feeding session, but from my experience, a baby doesn't feed for three hours, instead they are suckling after about half an hour, maybe even forty-five minutes. And the bloody nipples can happen, but usually it is caught right away and you can use lanolin and your own breastmilk to heal the cracked skin.
I had to hit up a British dictionary to translate what this woman was saying. When she says "just couldn't be fagged" she is saying she didn't have enough energy or interest to do something. So you're saying that it's easier to get up in the middle of the night, spend the time to make a bottle or warm one up, feed it to your baby and can get them back to sleep right away? When you breastfeed, you have the option of sitting in a chair and breastfeeding, if you feel like getting up and moving in the middle of the night, or laying in the bed and breastfeeding your baby, where both you and the baby will not doubt fall back to sleep. Now, let me remind you not to practice sleeping in the bed with your baby if you are a hard sleeper, taking medications or are overweight. I couldn't sleep for the first week because I was afraid I would crush my baby, but I fell in sync with my baby, learned how to sleep differently and haven't had any problems since he was born, and he is almost seven months.
Who says a breastfeeding mother can't get a little tipsy? Now I'm not for drinking and breastfeeding, but if you feel you want to, you can pump enough to last, drink and then pump and dump until your milk is no longer affected with alcohol. There are strips you can get from Walgreen's that test for alcohol in your milk, but I haven't used them, so I don't know their accuracy. I haven't had a drink since we decided we wanted to have a baby and I don't regret my decision one bit. I'm happy with not drinking, and I can go out with my husband or some friends and have fun without having a drink. Plus, I don't want my son to see me intoxicated and I don't want to be around my son when I am intoxicated. Who knows what could happen.
Hopefully, if you had the chance to breastfeed and didn't, it was because of complications or your milk never came in or you had a low milk supply. Now, it is every woman's choice whether she wants to breastfeed or formula-feed, but knowing what breastfeeding does for a baby's delicate system and knowing what formula does, there is a reason why those of us who can breastfeed choose to do it. I enjoy telling everyone what the benefits are and how it is safer and healthier for a baby, but ultimately it is their decision. I was a formula fed baby because my mother had a hard time breastfeeding and for some reason my brother and I didn't like the taste of her milk. There are some parents who will tell their daughters or daughters-in-law that formula feeding is just as good because they and or their other children turned out just fine and that a baby doesn't really know the difference. A baby can tell the difference if you allow them the chance to find out. I like to encourage new mother's to try breastfeeding if they feel they don't want to do it at all because of lack of support or their own idea about how it's going to impair their life.
Mother & Baby has received scores of letters and emails in praise of the piece. Reader Emma Dwight emailed: "I love your article! Not only does it completely sum up the minds of us formula-feeding mothers, but does it with humour and respect for those breastfeeders too." This was in no way respectful to breastfeeding mothers. Calling breastfeeding creepy, saying that breastfeeding mothers are just too tired to do anything else and can't have a drink because of their choice is not correct. Breastfeeding may not always be easy in the beginning, but it does get easier and I have found that it does not impede on my life in any way, shape or form. It is one of the best things in life I have ever done and my son and I have bonded so greatly because of this. Now, it's not to say formula-fed babies and their mothers don't bond, but there is a special connection between a breastfeeding mother and her baby that just can't be described.
Mother & Baby in no way felt there was a need for an apology. They felt that because this was Blundell's personal experience she had every right to say what she did and that it is an encouragement for all formula feeding families. Though, I do feel those who choose to formula feed do get a bad rap, it is ultimately their decision to make. We do not raise each others kids and there shouldn't really be any reason why they should be shunned for their choice. Some women have no choice but to formula feed, such as those who choose to adopt. Unfortunately, milk banks are expensive and insurance will not cover the expense, so they are left to formula feed. If they can afford it, there is an extra expense to have the birth mother pump her milk so the adoptive child can have breastmilk, but this also can be expensive and unfortunately some children are put up for adoption because the birth mother is on drugs, drinks or smokes and their milk may do more harm than good.
I hope at the end of this, you understand why from this breastfeeding mother's point of view that such an article is unbelievable and should never have been printed the way it was. I was tired in the beginning, like all new mother's are, but I slept when my baby slept and eventually we became accustomed to each other enough that being "fagged" was no longer an issue after some time. I understand the pressure that formula families must feel, but surely there could have been a more appropriate way Kathryn Blundell could have spoken her peace.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jun/27/breastfeeding-is-creepy-outrage
I get it, everyone is entitle to their opinion, but when you are the deputy director of a parents magazine, you have to keep some of your opinions to yourself, unlike Kathryn Blundell. Not only has she upset breastfeeding mothers, but even mothers who formula feed feel upset by what she has said.
First of all, breastfeeding is not "creepy" by any means. It is the way mothers choose to feed their babies, some try it for a little while and others will nurse until their nursling self-weens. Breastfeeding and giving baby pumped milk immediately after a mother is finished pumping is the only way for a baby to get all the proper nutrients and the antibodies they need in order to thrive and have an easier time fighting off practically any illness. Breastfed babies have less stomach upsets, ear infections and can digest breastmilk easier than formula.
Second, "I wanted my body back. (And some wine)… I also wanted to give my boobs at least a chance to stay on my chest rather than dangling around my stomach." For those who don't know, when you breastfeed, you can easily return to your pre-pregnancy weight. According to Nutrition Data I burn 3240.0 kcal/day from my daily routine, including breastfeeding. If I weren't breastfeeding, I would only burn 2840 kcal/day with my current lifestyle. By the way, my current lifestyle includes walking 30-60 minutes at least three time a week, using my WiiFit three times a week doing mostly yoga and housework. And about the comment she makes about her boobs, well that is just ridiculous. Pregnancy, poor posture and a bad bra. When you're pregnant, your ligaments and tendons relax and loosen to the point that your boobs will sag on their own.
According to Brian Rinker, MD, an assistant professor of plastic surgery at the University of Kentucky Medical Center, in Lexington, he heard so many patients blame sagging breasts on breastfeeding that, to see if there really is a connection, he surveyed 132 moms who had sought him out for breast lifts or augmentation. Turns out that age, smoking, being overweight pre-pregnancy, and large breast size, not to mention pregnancy itself (which increases breast size), are all associated with a greater likelihood of sagging. But, surprisingly, breastfeeding is not. "The bottom line is that breastfeeding doesn't have an impact," Dr. Rinker says.
Here is what she feels is creepy: "They're part of my sexuality, too – not just breasts, but fun bags. And when you have that attitude (and I admit I made no attempt to change it), seeing your teeny, tiny, innocent baby latching on where only a lover has been before feels, well, a little creepy." Like I've said, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but this just demoralizes women. We are made to help create life and to nurture that life. The best way to nurture that new life is to feed from your breast milk that is full of antibodies and vitamins that help protect the new life we have created.
Did this lady happen to think about what we're trying to accomplish in other countries? We want to push breastfeeding awareness because there are some countries that do not have the safest water, and giving formula mixed with bad/unsafe water to a baby is not safe at all. Do babies not have a right to the best possible future? And if she couldn't handle a "teeny, tiny, innocent baby latching on where only a lover has been before" than why not pump? Pumping is there to help women who work, go out for a period of time or who have trouble getting their newborn to latch on. Was pumping not an option for this woman?
And her comment on the studies not being enough of a concern for her to want "to stick [her] nipple in a bawling baby's mouth" is unbelievable. I'm helping to lower my risk of breast cancer, but more importantly I am helping to lessen the stomach upsets my baby would get had I fed him formula. By the way, I did do partial formula in the beginning because I wasn't sure about breastfeeding and I wanted him to be full longer. After about a week I began to exclusively breastfeed because the formula was causing a lot of problems. I pumped after the daytime feedings and had enough milk over night that my husband could feed our son so I could also get some sleep.
She continues: "I don't think I'm the only one, either – only 52% of mums still breastfeed after six weeks. Ask most of the quitters why they stopped and you'll hear tales of agonising three-hour feeding sessions and – the drama! – bloody nipples. But I often wonder whether many of these women, like me, just couldn't be fagged or felt like getting tipsy once in a while."
Ok, I'm not sure who has ever had a three hour nursing session before. The most I have had is thirty to forty-five minutes each side, but that was when William was younger than three months. Now, that's not to say someone hasn't gone through a three hour feeding session, but from my experience, a baby doesn't feed for three hours, instead they are suckling after about half an hour, maybe even forty-five minutes. And the bloody nipples can happen, but usually it is caught right away and you can use lanolin and your own breastmilk to heal the cracked skin.
I had to hit up a British dictionary to translate what this woman was saying. When she says "just couldn't be fagged" she is saying she didn't have enough energy or interest to do something. So you're saying that it's easier to get up in the middle of the night, spend the time to make a bottle or warm one up, feed it to your baby and can get them back to sleep right away? When you breastfeed, you have the option of sitting in a chair and breastfeeding, if you feel like getting up and moving in the middle of the night, or laying in the bed and breastfeeding your baby, where both you and the baby will not doubt fall back to sleep. Now, let me remind you not to practice sleeping in the bed with your baby if you are a hard sleeper, taking medications or are overweight. I couldn't sleep for the first week because I was afraid I would crush my baby, but I fell in sync with my baby, learned how to sleep differently and haven't had any problems since he was born, and he is almost seven months.
Who says a breastfeeding mother can't get a little tipsy? Now I'm not for drinking and breastfeeding, but if you feel you want to, you can pump enough to last, drink and then pump and dump until your milk is no longer affected with alcohol. There are strips you can get from Walgreen's that test for alcohol in your milk, but I haven't used them, so I don't know their accuracy. I haven't had a drink since we decided we wanted to have a baby and I don't regret my decision one bit. I'm happy with not drinking, and I can go out with my husband or some friends and have fun without having a drink. Plus, I don't want my son to see me intoxicated and I don't want to be around my son when I am intoxicated. Who knows what could happen.
Hopefully, if you had the chance to breastfeed and didn't, it was because of complications or your milk never came in or you had a low milk supply. Now, it is every woman's choice whether she wants to breastfeed or formula-feed, but knowing what breastfeeding does for a baby's delicate system and knowing what formula does, there is a reason why those of us who can breastfeed choose to do it. I enjoy telling everyone what the benefits are and how it is safer and healthier for a baby, but ultimately it is their decision. I was a formula fed baby because my mother had a hard time breastfeeding and for some reason my brother and I didn't like the taste of her milk. There are some parents who will tell their daughters or daughters-in-law that formula feeding is just as good because they and or their other children turned out just fine and that a baby doesn't really know the difference. A baby can tell the difference if you allow them the chance to find out. I like to encourage new mother's to try breastfeeding if they feel they don't want to do it at all because of lack of support or their own idea about how it's going to impair their life.
Mother & Baby has received scores of letters and emails in praise of the piece. Reader Emma Dwight emailed: "I love your article! Not only does it completely sum up the minds of us formula-feeding mothers, but does it with humour and respect for those breastfeeders too." This was in no way respectful to breastfeeding mothers. Calling breastfeeding creepy, saying that breastfeeding mothers are just too tired to do anything else and can't have a drink because of their choice is not correct. Breastfeeding may not always be easy in the beginning, but it does get easier and I have found that it does not impede on my life in any way, shape or form. It is one of the best things in life I have ever done and my son and I have bonded so greatly because of this. Now, it's not to say formula-fed babies and their mothers don't bond, but there is a special connection between a breastfeeding mother and her baby that just can't be described.
Mother & Baby in no way felt there was a need for an apology. They felt that because this was Blundell's personal experience she had every right to say what she did and that it is an encouragement for all formula feeding families. Though, I do feel those who choose to formula feed do get a bad rap, it is ultimately their decision to make. We do not raise each others kids and there shouldn't really be any reason why they should be shunned for their choice. Some women have no choice but to formula feed, such as those who choose to adopt. Unfortunately, milk banks are expensive and insurance will not cover the expense, so they are left to formula feed. If they can afford it, there is an extra expense to have the birth mother pump her milk so the adoptive child can have breastmilk, but this also can be expensive and unfortunately some children are put up for adoption because the birth mother is on drugs, drinks or smokes and their milk may do more harm than good.
I hope at the end of this, you understand why from this breastfeeding mother's point of view that such an article is unbelievable and should never have been printed the way it was. I was tired in the beginning, like all new mother's are, but I slept when my baby slept and eventually we became accustomed to each other enough that being "fagged" was no longer an issue after some time. I understand the pressure that formula families must feel, but surely there could have been a more appropriate way Kathryn Blundell could have spoken her peace.
A study on drugs, meds and smoking while breastfeeding
So I am very big about what I ingest - food, drink and meds - and where I am at as a mother who breastfeeds. I try to eat really good, but I do eat fast food when I feel lazy, though I have cut back a lot. I also research heavily or talk to the pharmacist or pediatrician about certain otc pills I'm interested in taking and how they'll affect my milk supply and my son. (On my soap box) One thing I do really hate though, and I say hate because I am really against this, is when I walk into/leave a restaurant or store where there are smokers right outside the door. Ok, I get it. You have a disgusting addiction, but really, do you have to do it close to a door? When I walk into someplace, I don't want to smell your cigarettes. I especially don't want my baby to have to smell them. I have asthma, my brother has asthma, my mother-in-law has asthma. The chances my son will have asthma are pretty high and I try to protect him from as much as I can. I know I can't protect him from everything and he'll grow up getting hurt and I may not always be there, but when it comes to smoking, I do not want my son to inhale that disgusting crap! (Off soap box)
I follow Sixty Second Parent on Facebook and Twitter. I saw a very interesting post about how "Babies Can Receive Drugs and Medicines Though Breast Milk." Did you know women who breastfeed can carry between 2 and 240 nanograms of nicotine per milliliter? Meaning their babies receive a dose equivalent to 0.3 to 36 micrograms/kg/day. These infants tend to suffer more from colic and are more prone to respiratory infections. This post also covers how caffeine and drugs affect a breastfed baby.
My advice is to give up smoking, second hand smoking and any other drugs altogether. Why risk the chance of your baby having any problems? Not only is smoking disgusting, but it doesn't only cause internal damage, like mouth/throat/lung cancer, but it can also age you, change the color of your nails and teeth, plus the breath. My mother was a smoker and drank a lot of coffee throughout her day. Her breath was the most disgusting thing I have ever smelled. And it wasn't just her breath. People who chain smoke and drink coffee all have bad breath. The worst thing she would do is pop a breath mint, because she knew it was bad but thought it would help. Truth is, people who smoke don't even realize how they smell even more. It's like a second skin to them. Why do you want your child to end up with some kind of problem because you chose to do or continue drugs?
I hope there are mother's out there that chose to smoke and still do, have chosen to quit. And the same goes for any kind of drugs. It's not just you anymore and how it makes you look, but it's also how it affects your babies and children. Ok, now I'm really off my soap box.
I follow Sixty Second Parent on Facebook and Twitter. I saw a very interesting post about how "Babies Can Receive Drugs and Medicines Though Breast Milk." Did you know women who breastfeed can carry between 2 and 240 nanograms of nicotine per milliliter? Meaning their babies receive a dose equivalent to 0.3 to 36 micrograms/kg/day. These infants tend to suffer more from colic and are more prone to respiratory infections. This post also covers how caffeine and drugs affect a breastfed baby.
My advice is to give up smoking, second hand smoking and any other drugs altogether. Why risk the chance of your baby having any problems? Not only is smoking disgusting, but it doesn't only cause internal damage, like mouth/throat/lung cancer, but it can also age you, change the color of your nails and teeth, plus the breath. My mother was a smoker and drank a lot of coffee throughout her day. Her breath was the most disgusting thing I have ever smelled. And it wasn't just her breath. People who chain smoke and drink coffee all have bad breath. The worst thing she would do is pop a breath mint, because she knew it was bad but thought it would help. Truth is, people who smoke don't even realize how they smell even more. It's like a second skin to them. Why do you want your child to end up with some kind of problem because you chose to do or continue drugs?
I hope there are mother's out there that chose to smoke and still do, have chosen to quit. And the same goes for any kind of drugs. It's not just you anymore and how it makes you look, but it's also how it affects your babies and children. Ok, now I'm really off my soap box.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Starting solids...
I'm adding all of this information, on my facebook group Breastfeeding Advocates, on when you should start your infant on solids because this question is going around on Circle Of Moms. I'm slightly concerned because of the research I have done when my son was about three months and I thought it was safe to feed him cereal.
Pediatricians still believe a child should start eating some of these foods when they hit four months. However, by doing this you also reduce the amount of milk produced and up to six months you should still be feeding about 7-12 times a day.
Some experts say by 1 or 2 months, when your milk supply is well established, babies will go longer intervals before eating, roughly nursing 7-9 times a day. This information is heavily researched and held as the standard. I believe when you "cue" feed, your baby will feed more than 7-9 times a day, even closer to six months. Sometimes my son will go 3 to 4 hours, other times he will go 1.5 to 2 hours. It all varies from baby to baby.
My main point is, some of the info being passed around on Circle of Moms is, "The pediatrician said it was time" or "My baby is eating so much I think it is time." In this instance, if your baby is nursing so much and you cannot keep up with their feeding demands and the doctor, who is hopefully breastfeeding friendly and an advocate, they will help you decide what is best and continue to guide you in the right direction.
In my personal experience, when you start your baby on foods, you start on cereal or oatmeal. To help your baby get the best nutrition still, mix the grains with breast milk. They will still get what they need as well being fuller longer, but this is only suggested if your baby is in a high demand for food, and I hope my dear friend will add her two-cents/advice on her own experience dealing with this, as her little monkey is the sweetest little garbage disposal I have ever met...
With this said, I strongly recommend waiting to feed your baby anything other than breast milk when they are six months or are showing the recommended milestones. Do not start on solids when they are considered an assisted sitter, as Gerber puts this. I asked many people about their opinions on the whole assisted sitter feeding as I had received lots of coupons from Gerber. Their take, don't buy into what companies want. They only want your money and they will get it however they want. Starting solids too early can cause your baby to develop food allergies. Your baby's intestinal tract is not as fully developed during the first few months and introducing solids at this time can be too much to handle.
Don't judge your baby's milestones by other babies. You know what is best for your baby. Also, do your own research. See what has to be said by the professionals about your infants intestines and stomach. See for yourself what they have to say and make your own informed decision. Don't just go by my words or my experiences. Ask a Pediatrician, a lactation consultant, a La Leche League leader or a nurse from your local WIC office. Ask lots of questions, get informed and this may even help you to know those who are helping you care for your baby even better, to help create a better relationship with them.
Pediatricians still believe a child should start eating some of these foods when they hit four months. However, by doing this you also reduce the amount of milk produced and up to six months you should still be feeding about 7-12 times a day.
Some experts say by 1 or 2 months, when your milk supply is well established, babies will go longer intervals before eating, roughly nursing 7-9 times a day. This information is heavily researched and held as the standard. I believe when you "cue" feed, your baby will feed more than 7-9 times a day, even closer to six months. Sometimes my son will go 3 to 4 hours, other times he will go 1.5 to 2 hours. It all varies from baby to baby.
My main point is, some of the info being passed around on Circle of Moms is, "The pediatrician said it was time" or "My baby is eating so much I think it is time." In this instance, if your baby is nursing so much and you cannot keep up with their feeding demands and the doctor, who is hopefully breastfeeding friendly and an advocate, they will help you decide what is best and continue to guide you in the right direction.
In my personal experience, when you start your baby on foods, you start on cereal or oatmeal. To help your baby get the best nutrition still, mix the grains with breast milk. They will still get what they need as well being fuller longer, but this is only suggested if your baby is in a high demand for food, and I hope my dear friend will add her two-cents/advice on her own experience dealing with this, as her little monkey is the sweetest little garbage disposal I have ever met...
With this said, I strongly recommend waiting to feed your baby anything other than breast milk when they are six months or are showing the recommended milestones. Do not start on solids when they are considered an assisted sitter, as Gerber puts this. I asked many people about their opinions on the whole assisted sitter feeding as I had received lots of coupons from Gerber. Their take, don't buy into what companies want. They only want your money and they will get it however they want. Starting solids too early can cause your baby to develop food allergies. Your baby's intestinal tract is not as fully developed during the first few months and introducing solids at this time can be too much to handle.
Don't judge your baby's milestones by other babies. You know what is best for your baby. Also, do your own research. See what has to be said by the professionals about your infants intestines and stomach. See for yourself what they have to say and make your own informed decision. Don't just go by my words or my experiences. Ask a Pediatrician, a lactation consultant, a La Leche League leader or a nurse from your local WIC office. Ask lots of questions, get informed and this may even help you to know those who are helping you care for your baby even better, to help create a better relationship with them.
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