I'm not going to say that everyone has a problem in the beginning. In fact, if I were to teach a class based on experiences and asked, "for those who have breastfed, did you have a perfect latch in the beginning," I would be surprised to see even one hand raised. Now that's not to say there isn't 1:20 moms who have a perfect experience from the beginning. And if I ever find you I may send you the evil eye but I honestly mean well.
I wasn't so lucky in the beginning. That's not to say it was a bad experience, but I think I made it a bad experience for myself. I had one friend who breastfed her three boys, but I hadn't watched her. I found that awkward, except now I've become so brave I use the Mississippi laws to my advantage and will NIP, hand a "thank you for breastfeeding" card to any mama I see bonding with her little one, and have even joined La Leche League.
I wasn't sure about breastfeeding in the beginning. I wasn't breastfed, but that's not to say my mother didn't try. In fact, she tried very hard. So hard to the point both my brother and I, we're 11.5 months apart, nearly starved to death. My mother refused to feed us formula because it was too expensive, but we refused her milk. Strange that her milk tasted bad both times, but she was also a military wife and in the 80's there just wasn't enough help.
Yes, La Leche League was created in the 50s and was really taking on a lot by the 80s, but there were still so many mamas who weren't getting any help for whatever reasons. And let's not forget the fake lactation consultants in the 80s. These women sounded like they knew what they were talking about, so the hospital administration didn't have any idea if they were actually telling the truth or were just looking for jobs to make the time go by and make money. These women were such a huge discredit to the battle on breastfeeding.
Back to my point, I hadn't gone in search for help. I didn't know if I wanted to breastfeed and I didn't know how it would impact me. I was unsure of the whole process, and I was like many mothers who were and still are uneducated on the whole idea. I thought formula was just as good because they say they are. Now I love to blurt out, "I give my baby enzymes my body has naturally made. Let's see your product do that!"
So in the beginning, my husband's cousin, a member of La Leche League, came to watch me breastfeed on our first day home. I didn't mind, was a little nervous, but didn't mind. It seemed to be going really great. Well, my supply hadn't come in and we were going to see the pediatrician the next day. He told me it was okay, give my son an ounce of formula and breastfeed from both sides afterwards to stimulate my supply and say, "Woohoo!!! It's time for you girls to do your thing! Come one now!!!" Well, he didn't say that last part, but I was so tempted to yell at them. They just weren't doing what I thought they would be doing. He also said I would know when my supply came in because my breasts would get really large and lumpy and I would feel the milk coming out my nipples.
Isn't breastfeeding natural? Doesn't it just happen? I guess I watched Return to the Blue Lagoon, or maybe it was the first one, one to many times. You know the one, they have a baby, the three day old baby (that really looks like she is about six months old) is crying like crazy and she won't eat anything they're giving her and she just so happens to start lowering the baby and the baby naturally latches on. Yes, that's how it's supposed to happen, just like that. Don't we all wish.
Babies know how to latch when they're born, so says Ameda, but it is the uneducated mother who may foul things up. I kept looking at the little slip of paper from the WIC nutritionist with two lactation consultant's names on it, but I am so hard headed I wanted to do it all on my own. Day five brought me to tears when I still didn't have anything and we were still supplementing with formula. And we wanted to sleep, so what did we do? We bought the night-time formula. Hubby and I both agreed to feed our son more than an ounce because he seemed so unhappy and he was crying all the time to eat. This was also due to the doctor telling us he only needs to eat every 2-3 hours and our newborn was crying about every hour to an hour and a half.
Yes, we starved our son because we thought that's what we were supposed to do. "Don't feed him any less than two hours or you'll have a cluster feeder that will rule your house and sleep schedule," said the other pediatrician. He was the son to the first pediatrician. They were great for the most part, but very Rx happy and pro-formula, not to mention the first time we saw the father, he was literally tossing my son around like they were performing a circus act; going from one hand to the other, back and forth, tummy up tummy down. I wanted to scream but I couldn't find my voice. My husband just laughed when the pediatrician left the room and said something about that was his job and he was just testing the our son's awareness and certain reflexes. I figured he would know, he has a brother 8 years younger then him, a sister 12 years younger then him and another sister 23 years younger then him. So he's seen plenty, I was sure of it.
Anyway, I finally called a lactation consultant on the sixth day. I told her everything that was going on, what I wasn't saying was I wanted her to come over and see why my milk hadn't come in. She asked about my latch and I told her. I told her what the pediatrician said and I don't think she disagreed. After all, a baby's survival in those first few days is vital. It's not the end of the world if you can't breastfeed, but I wanted to know that I was actually giving it my all. A living, thriving baby was more important to me than anything else, as is with the majority of the world.
I don't say the entire world because there is a culture in Pakistan that praises boys and not girls. A woman gave birth to twins, one boy and one girl The article said she was given the wrong information and wouldn't be able to feed both her children. One of my anthropology teachers showed me in a textbook how that culture praised boys and felt that the girl would have to die because she isn't important enough.
Back to my point, so I decided to do more research. My lactation consultant said I was doing everything right and that I just needed to be patient. I was worried at that point. Everything sounded like I was doing it right, but if I was why hadn't my milk come in yet? Google was my best-friend, well, when I could find the time. I did, after all, have a newborn that needed me every waking minute.
Youtube was fantastic. Did you know there are videos on youtube that instruct women how to latch and breastfeed properly? Some are by companies, I found one by a pediatrician, a baby-boomer pediatrician (weren't they all formula fed?) and some were done by mothers who wanted to reach out to other mothers. That is what this post is all about, to reach out to other mothers. I wanted to tell my story and show you how I learned. This is one of many ways, but I still insist on a mother meeting with an IBCLC and or a La Leche League leader. Hope you all enjoy!
I wanted to show this one first because I love her so much! She's the reason I started to NIP!
Be prepared this video does cut in and out
She's a little scary but helpful
Teeth and trying to cover...hmmm
I hope these have all helped!!!
