For those that don't know me, I am a stay at home mom. This is a choice both DH and I have agreed on while I finish school and he works some very bizarre hours. It makes things a little tight at times, but we manage.
We have two wonderful boys, the oldest is almost 26 months and our newest addition is just over three months. I breastfeed them both. I say again, I breastfeed them both. My reasons are my own, but for those who scoff at the idea that a 26 month old is still at the breast: research fully backs up the need for a baby to breastfeed from 2.5 years to as much as 7. I don't know how long my oldest will be breastfeeding as it is his decision. It was his decision when he started to eat solids, which wasn't until 10 months, and it'll be his decision when he stops breastfeeding.
Gasp! Oh my goodness! This lady allows her walking and talking toddler to feed from her. How can this be! Here's another little tidbit: the USDA and AAP have changed the guidelines for toddlers and OTC drugs. Anyone notice how many infants OTC meds are the shelf? Take a look. It's all fever reducers.
Every other medicine that used to be made available for infants and toddlers is now for 4 and older. I have to take my toddler to the pediatrician to get a script for a children's medicine that must be administered at a lower dosage. So you can get the same OTC children's medicine, but from my understanding, unless you have a child four or older, you need a prescription for that OTC.
So that takes us back to breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is a form of medicine. It is still being widely researched for what all is in breastmilk, but if it is good enough to give to cancer patients than it is good enough to give to my toddler.
DH and I were in a huge fight earlier. We're on our way to his dad's and stepmom's to meet his sister's boyfriend, and this young man's request. I hope he knows what he's doing; she does have two older brothers. Anyway, he asked me, he puts it as this one time (which it is the first time) to not breastfeed our youngest in front of this young man. I felt my heart rip in two.
Now before you say I'm being such a drama queen, how would you feel if someone asked you, this one time, for you to go eat in another room, or not eat at all, because they didn't like the way you ate? Insulted? Ashamed? Upset? Torn apart that someone you love and trust told you that you can't do that in front of someone?
Reasons: he's a young man, so don't plop it out (my words not his) in front him to feed our son; you want everyone to have respect for you and your breastfeeding. What about everyone else's feelings? Why can't you make everyone else feel comfortable too (all I hear is why can't you be like other moms and feed with a bottle or why can't you just this one time hide away so nobody feels weird about what's happening)?
BECAUSE I'M NOT ASHAMED OF WHAT I DO
My three month old feeds from "the tap" in public. Depending on what I'm wearing and how active my son is depends on whether I will cover up. Also, depending on where I am. When I am over at other peoples homes I will wear a cover or a blanket. I do have respect for other peoples dwellings. If I know I am in a home where the people living there believe in breastfeeding, I won't cover, unless I have seen them cover, then I'll know their position on public breastfeeding.
When we go to my in-laws, I cover. At my home, I will not cover. That is where I sleep, eat, shower, do my business, live and make the rules. I will not cover up in my own home.
DH told me I sound like some kind of activist, that I have basically taken this too far. Correction.
I AM A LACTIVIST!!!
I stand for breastfeeding. I stand for my right to breastfeed where I want and when I want, rather when my son wants. I don't practice the cry it out method. I practice shove that nipple in that crying baby's mouth method. I say shove because this is what people tend to say when a baby is crying and you've tried everything else.
Yes, I publicly breastfeed, sometimes covered sometimes not. Yes, I feed my toddler, but for him it is just snack time, and we're normally home during snack time or he falls asleep. He hasn't nursed in public since right before I was pregnant with our youngest. It's just how it's worked out, but I do feed him at other people's homes, when there isn't so much going on. He practices gymnastics breastfeeding, so sometimes it's a little difficult.
So after DH finally apologized for making me cry, and yes I bawled my eyes out because he was the last person I expected to tell me to hide away in a room this one time. That really hurt my feelings. So yes I cried, and cried, and cried.
Finally, yes. I'm an agnostic. I haven't been to church on my own since my mom died. And really, I haven't talked to god since then either. That's nearly ten years. I grew up in the Lutheran religion the majority of my life, and I was led to believe that Lutheranism is the one true religion, that all others believe in way too much or practice weird things. I have questioned this for a long time.
I married an atheist, who grew up a baptist. We have been telling my family for the past six years we have been attending a church or different churches. DH brought up an interesting point. If I can't make his family feel comfortable, because my breastfeeding is obviously something to be ashamed of, then why should he continue to make my family comfortable.
He's right. This is the first time it is coming out. I should probably talk to my family first before saying this, but I will see them in a little over a month and if they have questions I am happy to answer them. We don't talk to god. We don't talk about god. We both agreed when our kids are older they can make the decision themselves. If they want to go to church, we happily support them.
We have religious friends. We get along great with our religious friends. Sometimes we talk about religion, but it normally doesn't come up. Not by choice, it just doesn't. We don't seclude ourselves from people who believe in what they want to believe in. Why should we? We don't have a problem with them or religion. We only choose to believe in what we do believe in.
So yes. Now it's time for us to be comfortable. We are not religious. We don't attend church, I breastfeed whenever and wherever and will continue to do so until my boys no longer want to breastfeed. I will continue to stand up for breastfeeding and continue to support every woman's right to ready feed whenever and wherever she likes.
